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- Confidence is an important life skill that could make or break how successful you are at work or in your personal relationships.
- That said, it doesn't come naturally to everyone.
- Psychologist Jennifer Garth explains how you can take the leap and become more confident.
Anyone who has been for a job interview or on a first date understands the importance of confidence. It's an essential life skill that can make or break how successful you are at work or in your personal relationships.
It's confidence that empowers you to maximise your personal potential and present with a positive belief in yourself. But confidence doesn't come naturally to all of us. Most of us are far more familiar with sweaty armpits, nervous giggles and pesky eyebrow twitches when our confidence is being tested.
Psychologist Jennifer Garth explains how you can take the leap and become confident.
1. Fake it till you make it
It's a common Hollywood catchphrase, but this one has scientific merit. Researchers at Harvard Business School found that just two minutes of power posing, such as sitting with your feet up on your desk, leaning back in your chair and interlocking your hands at the back of your head, can unleash your inner alpha by boosting testosterone and reducing the stress hormone cortisol.
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2. Write five positive affirmations
Based on five traits you like about yourself. Find powerful words to beef up your statement. For example, instead of saying, 'I have good skin', you could say, 'I have a glowing, flawless complexion'. Or instead of, 'I am worthy', try 'I am cherished and loved'. Speak your affirmation out loud for a couple of minutes three times a day. Affirmations can be a powerful tool to help you change your state of mind, overcome a confidence crisis and get you one step closer to your goals.
3. Stop ruminating about
Every slip-up you make - or run the risk of sending your self-confidence into a tailspin. Accept that making mistakes is par for the course, and instead of beating yourself up, turn the situation around and think, 'What can I learn from this? How can I make sure it doesn't happen again?' Keep your confidence intact by focusing on what you got right. When you're feeling good about yourself, you're in a prime position to take advantage of opportunities that come your way.
4. Take charge of your emotions
It's easy to be positive about yourself when everything is going well, but nothing can stop you in your tracks like the gut-wrenching pain of personal rejection. When you're in the middle of an intense personal crisis, it can seem as if you'll never survive. But you can if you react with dignity and intelligence.
When you deal with painful situations with poise, you see yourself as a can-do, in-control person. An additional bonus is that you know you have the skills to deal with future personal problems.
5. See yourself in the same light
See yourself in the same light as your nearest and dearest. If you could, would you be more unconditionally accepting of yourself? To get an idea of how others see you, take a picture of yourself with a big, happy grin on your mobile phone or computer desktop. Every time you look at your smile, remind yourself of all the positive characteristics that define you. Appreciate the complex, multifaceted package you are. It will refute the negative impact of focusing on any one particular imperfection.
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6. Learn something new
Not only does gaining a new qualification increase your income, but learning can also boost your confidence. In fact, the National Adult Learning Survey conducted in the UK found that 95 per cent of people believe learning new workplace skills, a language, or even learning to play the piano can change the way you feel about yourself. You might realise you have more potential than you previously thought. Your belief in yourself grows, improving your self-esteem.
7. Express yourself more
When your communication style is clear and precise, you're saying to yourself and others, 'My opinions, feelings and needs are as valid and significant as anybody else's'.
If you're regularly misunderstood, you may need to brush up on how you express yourself. Ask, 'Can I communicate my opinions, thoughts and feelings in a more precise way?' You may just need to practice expressing yourself. Take every opportunity to speak. Don't wait to be asked, and don't think you have nothing to say. If you're an intellectually developed adult, you will have opinions with just as much right as anyone else to express them.
8. Disarm your inner critic
Shut down the negative voice inside your head with a reality check. For example, if you're trying to lose weight and your nagging inner critic is saying something like, 'You're never going to get to your goal', negate it with, 'Where is the evidence? If I eat right and exercise, I will lose weight and get fit and healthy'. Go one step further and turn a weight-loss slip-up, such as overeating, into a positive boost for your self-esteem. You may not have lost weight this week, but you've become more aware of the emotional triggers that cause you to overeat.
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9. Be a front-row person
Whether it's yoga, the gym or the office boardroom, most people go to the back of the room because they're afraid of being noticed. But those who like the front rows are not afraid to stand out from the crowd. They believe in their abilities and like being up front where they are most engaged and stimulated.
The next time you go to a meeting, decide to confront any irrational fears about not being good enough and hit the front row. When you're in front, you're energised by what's going on. There's no room for apprehension or self-consciousness.
10. Walk and talk proud
It's easy to see how a languid gait is often associated with a negative self-view. Think of the person who shuffles along; their confidence appears to be close to zero. There is a middle group who have a mediocre posture and move in a way that says, 'I have no reason to feel proud of myself.'
Then there are those who walk tall and with poise. The look says, 'I am comfortable in my skin and my place in the world.' By changing your posture, you can turn a negative attitude into a positive one. Straighten up, speed up your step and feel an immediate surge of confidence.
Source: AREMEDIASYNDICATION.COM.AU/MAGAZINEFEATURES.CO.ZA
