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Anyone can psyche themselves up and set a New Year's resolution. It's oh-so-easy to say you'll lose 10kg/toss the smokes/finally face the treadmill when you're holiday-happy and blissed-out on the beach... but somehow, stress and distractions get in the way of the doing when the new year is a few weeks old. But, all you really need is this quick quiz and personal change coach, to be stick-with-it savvy and raring to go...
How will you know if you're successful?
a. You'll feel heaps of guilt if you're not sticking to your proposed changes.
b. You'll feel virtuous and peppy if you are.
c. You'll consult your well-documented self-monitoring journal to check your progress.
# Instant insight "Developing an accountability system — track whether you followed the plan each day in a journal — helps you know where you are at any given moment and saves you from ¬self-deception," says psychologist Jim Loehr, co-author of The Power of Full Engagement (The Free Press). Study after study has found that keeping a food diary is one of the strongest predictors of weight-loss success. Because it's hard to deny what you've put in print, a written record helps keep you honest about your habits, and allows you to measure your progress as you go along.
Setting a goal requires something specific for you to set your sights on. In establishing your resolution goal, you've set yours on:
a. The image of a successful you, complete with your well-established new habit.
b. What's possible for you to accomplish today and tomorrow.
c. Where you are now, where you want to be and, specifically, how you'll get from point A to point B.
# Instant insight "Whenever you want to go somewhere, you need two navigational co-ordinates — where you want to go and where you are now," Loehr says. "One without the other means you're still lost."
So it's time to face facts: where are you right, and how far are you from your goal? Work it out by doing a numbers inventory. How many cocktails or cigarettes do you have per day? How often do you eat junk food in response to stress? Once you've pinpointed your point A, set specific, measurable steps for how you'll proceed towards your new point B.
If you've battled this particular resolution beast before, and failed (with casualities), what's going to make this encounter the clincher?
a. Now you're more motivated to succeed.
b. You've examined what went wrong, and this time you'll use a different approach.
c. You feel like you now have the will and the way to beat the beast and achieve your goal.
# Instant insight Motivation and willpower are overrated, says John Norcross, professor of psychology and co-author of Changing for Good (Perennial/Quill). Here's what's more important: having clarity of purpose, a set of specific behavioural skills that will help you stick with your plan, and the confidence to execute those skills. "Self-efficacy — a realistic sense of self-confidence that you can do this — is the single best predictor of whether you're going to succeed," says Norcross. So if you want to slim down, reading up on what you need to do to change your diet, mapping out a strategy for how you'll do it, and believing that you have the strength of character and the commitment to make it happen can give you the right can-do spirit.
You feel the need to peel off extra kilos. What's your most likely attitude to the challenge?
a. You see, both of my parents are heavy people, so I must be dealing with an inherited slow metabolism.
b. But I'm soooo busy, and way too tired to exercise or cook healthy meals.
c. If I step up my exercise routine and improve my eating habits, I'll probably have a lot more energy to devote to activities that are important to me. Bonus!
# Instant insight We all tell ourselves stories that explain — or make excuses for — how we've come to be the way we are, says Loehr. The trick is to create a new narrative, one that reflects your values, the truth about what you're doing now and why, and how you can effect the change you're aiming for. If you want to start exercising regularly, you might tell yourself that working out consistently gives you greater focus and stamina to keep up with your kids or your busy social life. "Write down a new story of how you want to be, review it once a day, and tell it to other people when you have the chance," says Loehr. "That story will become your reality."
A week or two into the change you receive bad news. Suddenly, you're an emotional wreck who really wants a chocolate/glass of wine/smoke. What do you do?
a. Indulge your craving (just this once). This is a crisis after all.
b. Ask a non-smoking/drinking/bingeing friend how she soothes herself when upset.
c. Use the relaxation skills you've been practising to calm yourself.
# Instant insight "Negative emotions — such as sadness, fear, anxiety or loss — and tempting social situations account for the vast majority of lapses," Norcross notes. "You need to develop specific plans for dealing with these, and practice them ahead of time." This way, if you know that you can distract and de-stress yourself by going for a walk, calling a close friend or meditating, your goal won't be threatened every time you face a surprise.
To determine your commitment to your resolution, you have:
a. Questioned whether you really want to work on this change.
b. Asked yourself what you're willing to sacrifice to achieve it.
c. Considered all the benefits, and the drawbacks of transforming this behaviour.
# Instant insight To boost your chances of sticking with the journey ahead, it's smart to do a cost-benefit analysis of staying the same, versus changing. This can be as simple as creating a list of pros and cons. "If the pros of changing don't outweigh the cons, challenge some of those assumptions and find more pros to making the change," says Carlo Di Clemente, psychology professor and co-author of Changing for Good (Perennial/Quill). "You really have to do some active thinking if you want to have enthusiasm for changing your behaviour."
When struck by ambivalence and wondering whether you can, should or want to change, you're most likely to:
a. See it as a sign that you're (still) not ready and postpone your change plan (yet again).
b. Debate the issue until you've scrutinised every nook and cranny of your ambivalence.
c. Acknowledge your feelings, put them aside, and forge ahead.
# Instant insight"Ambivalence is part of the change process," says Di Clemente. "When people feel ambivalent, the natural reaction is procrastination or postponement." Instead of delaying or debating your decision, what you should do is test the waters: "Try a sample of the new behaviour and give it enough of a chance to see some benefits," says Di Clemente. This will give you a taste of what's required — and how it feels — to change your ways.
When you hit those major milestones on your journey to change, how do you think you'll acknowledge them?
a. You won't, because it's only reaching the big goal that counts.
b. Make a mental note and push right on.
c. You'll spoil yourself silly by doing something you really enjoy.
# Instant insight It's important to give yourself plenty of rewards for getting closer to your goal, says Norcross. "This way, you're acknowledging your effort, which is important, because habits don't change that quickly." It often takes three to six months to shed an old habit and create a new one that feels natural. In the meantime, rewarding yourself for reaching attainable goals will reinforce the new behaviour and recharge your momentum as you continue to reach for the ultimate prize.
scoring
If you answered mostly As, you have: The wrong toolbox. You need to face the facts about why you're engaging in self-destructive habits, why you should change them and what you need to do to make that happen. In other words, you must become your own best ally. Consider how you'll deal with temptation, sneaky saboteurs and other obstacles. Then, come up with a concrete game plan, set a start date and chart your progress as you take steps to create a better you.
If you answered mostly Bs, you have: Some of the skills. Your intentions are noble, but you may be missing some of the key tools that will increase your chances of success. Maybe you need to review your history to see what purpose this habit serves in your life. Or maybe you need to set more concrete or reasonable goals. As you launch your plan, be sure to arm yourself with supportive tools — such as a personal cheering squad, a tracking system and appropriate ongoing rewards — to boost your odds of succeeding.
If you answered mostly Cs, you have: The right stuff. You have a healthy mind-set and approach to changing your habits. To make sure you go the distance, periodically review your reasons for wanting to change and recommit to your action plan, revising it as you go along. This way, you'll stay convinced that it's truly in your best interest to revamp your ways over the long haul.
How will you know if you're successful?
a. You'll feel heaps of guilt if you're not sticking to your proposed changes.
b. You'll feel virtuous and peppy if you are.
c. You'll consult your well-documented self-monitoring journal to check your progress.
# Instant insight "Developing an accountability system — track whether you followed the plan each day in a journal — helps you know where you are at any given moment and saves you from ¬self-deception," says psychologist Jim Loehr, co-author of The Power of Full Engagement (The Free Press). Study after study has found that keeping a food diary is one of the strongest predictors of weight-loss success. Because it's hard to deny what you've put in print, a written record helps keep you honest about your habits, and allows you to measure your progress as you go along.
Setting a goal requires something specific for you to set your sights on. In establishing your resolution goal, you've set yours on:
a. The image of a successful you, complete with your well-established new habit.
b. What's possible for you to accomplish today and tomorrow.
c. Where you are now, where you want to be and, specifically, how you'll get from point A to point B.
# Instant insight "Whenever you want to go somewhere, you need two navigational co-ordinates — where you want to go and where you are now," Loehr says. "One without the other means you're still lost."
So it's time to face facts: where are you right, and how far are you from your goal? Work it out by doing a numbers inventory. How many cocktails or cigarettes do you have per day? How often do you eat junk food in response to stress? Once you've pinpointed your point A, set specific, measurable steps for how you'll proceed towards your new point B.
If you've battled this particular resolution beast before, and failed (with casualities), what's going to make this encounter the clincher?
a. Now you're more motivated to succeed.
b. You've examined what went wrong, and this time you'll use a different approach.
c. You feel like you now have the will and the way to beat the beast and achieve your goal.
# Instant insight Motivation and willpower are overrated, says John Norcross, professor of psychology and co-author of Changing for Good (Perennial/Quill). Here's what's more important: having clarity of purpose, a set of specific behavioural skills that will help you stick with your plan, and the confidence to execute those skills. "Self-efficacy — a realistic sense of self-confidence that you can do this — is the single best predictor of whether you're going to succeed," says Norcross. So if you want to slim down, reading up on what you need to do to change your diet, mapping out a strategy for how you'll do it, and believing that you have the strength of character and the commitment to make it happen can give you the right can-do spirit.
You feel the need to peel off extra kilos. What's your most likely attitude to the challenge?
a. You see, both of my parents are heavy people, so I must be dealing with an inherited slow metabolism.
b. But I'm soooo busy, and way too tired to exercise or cook healthy meals.
c. If I step up my exercise routine and improve my eating habits, I'll probably have a lot more energy to devote to activities that are important to me. Bonus!
# Instant insight We all tell ourselves stories that explain — or make excuses for — how we've come to be the way we are, says Loehr. The trick is to create a new narrative, one that reflects your values, the truth about what you're doing now and why, and how you can effect the change you're aiming for. If you want to start exercising regularly, you might tell yourself that working out consistently gives you greater focus and stamina to keep up with your kids or your busy social life. "Write down a new story of how you want to be, review it once a day, and tell it to other people when you have the chance," says Loehr. "That story will become your reality."
A week or two into the change you receive bad news. Suddenly, you're an emotional wreck who really wants a chocolate/glass of wine/smoke. What do you do?
a. Indulge your craving (just this once). This is a crisis after all.
b. Ask a non-smoking/drinking/bingeing friend how she soothes herself when upset.
c. Use the relaxation skills you've been practising to calm yourself.
# Instant insight "Negative emotions — such as sadness, fear, anxiety or loss — and tempting social situations account for the vast majority of lapses," Norcross notes. "You need to develop specific plans for dealing with these, and practice them ahead of time." This way, if you know that you can distract and de-stress yourself by going for a walk, calling a close friend or meditating, your goal won't be threatened every time you face a surprise.
To determine your commitment to your resolution, you have:
a. Questioned whether you really want to work on this change.
b. Asked yourself what you're willing to sacrifice to achieve it.
c. Considered all the benefits, and the drawbacks of transforming this behaviour.
# Instant insight To boost your chances of sticking with the journey ahead, it's smart to do a cost-benefit analysis of staying the same, versus changing. This can be as simple as creating a list of pros and cons. "If the pros of changing don't outweigh the cons, challenge some of those assumptions and find more pros to making the change," says Carlo Di Clemente, psychology professor and co-author of Changing for Good (Perennial/Quill). "You really have to do some active thinking if you want to have enthusiasm for changing your behaviour."
When struck by ambivalence and wondering whether you can, should or want to change, you're most likely to:
a. See it as a sign that you're (still) not ready and postpone your change plan (yet again).
b. Debate the issue until you've scrutinised every nook and cranny of your ambivalence.
c. Acknowledge your feelings, put them aside, and forge ahead.
# Instant insight"Ambivalence is part of the change process," says Di Clemente. "When people feel ambivalent, the natural reaction is procrastination or postponement." Instead of delaying or debating your decision, what you should do is test the waters: "Try a sample of the new behaviour and give it enough of a chance to see some benefits," says Di Clemente. This will give you a taste of what's required — and how it feels — to change your ways.
When you hit those major milestones on your journey to change, how do you think you'll acknowledge them?
a. You won't, because it's only reaching the big goal that counts.
b. Make a mental note and push right on.
c. You'll spoil yourself silly by doing something you really enjoy.
# Instant insight It's important to give yourself plenty of rewards for getting closer to your goal, says Norcross. "This way, you're acknowledging your effort, which is important, because habits don't change that quickly." It often takes three to six months to shed an old habit and create a new one that feels natural. In the meantime, rewarding yourself for reaching attainable goals will reinforce the new behaviour and recharge your momentum as you continue to reach for the ultimate prize.
scoring
If you answered mostly As, you have: The wrong toolbox. You need to face the facts about why you're engaging in self-destructive habits, why you should change them and what you need to do to make that happen. In other words, you must become your own best ally. Consider how you'll deal with temptation, sneaky saboteurs and other obstacles. Then, come up with a concrete game plan, set a start date and chart your progress as you take steps to create a better you.
If you answered mostly Bs, you have: Some of the skills. Your intentions are noble, but you may be missing some of the key tools that will increase your chances of success. Maybe you need to review your history to see what purpose this habit serves in your life. Or maybe you need to set more concrete or reasonable goals. As you launch your plan, be sure to arm yourself with supportive tools — such as a personal cheering squad, a tracking system and appropriate ongoing rewards — to boost your odds of succeeding.
If you answered mostly Cs, you have: The right stuff. You have a healthy mind-set and approach to changing your habits. To make sure you go the distance, periodically review your reasons for wanting to change and recommit to your action plan, revising it as you go along. This way, you'll stay convinced that it's truly in your best interest to revamp your ways over the long haul.
