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The “girl”, whose face isn’t visible, is bent over and surrounded by the boys, who are holding her down and pretending to rape her.
The boys, two of whom are looking directly at the camera, are laughing. The caption reads: “Apparently we are ‘fuckbois’, yet they love us anyway”.
This is rape culture in a nutshell.
Dismissing the boys’ actions by saying “they’re just teenagers” or “boys will be boys” or “it’s just a joke” is dangerous. If we teach children that certain actions are excusable, it will also be excusable to them as adults.
If we teach them that boys (and men) are allowed to act in a certain way simply because of their gender, they learn that they are not responsible for rape. We perpetuate the notion that it is girls who have to say no, who have to dress conservatively, who are responsible for not being raped.
When boys believe that simulating rape is just a joke, it means they believe that rape itself is not something to take seriously. When you are a woman and rape is a very real risk for you, this casual attitude feels like a slap in the face.
To those boys: I don’t want to ask you how you would feel if another man did this to your sister or your girlfriend, because loving someone shouldn’t be the reason you respect their body. Their humanity should be enough.
In any case, it is not your feelings that are important here. I’m going to ask you instead, how do you think the girls from St. Anne’s feel, seeing someone in their school uniform being treated this way?
Do you think they’re sick to their stomachs, knowing that this is how their peers see them and their classmates? Do you think they’re anxious and confused, knowing they may well be raped by a boy, a boy from a good home and a good school, but society tells them that this is a joke and they should laugh?
I can guarantee you that you know at least one girl or woman who has been raped, even if she hasn’t told you. It could be a family member, or your teacher, or your friend’s mother. I wonder how they feel, looking at this picture. I wonder about the hurt you have caused them.
I know that the school is taking disciplinary action, but I also hope that they will explain to the boys why their actions were wrong. I hope that they will educate their pupils about rape culture. It would help to invite a rape survivor – someone like Jes Foord, who does public speaking – to address the boys.
Because as a woman, I can no longer ignore the fear I feel when I see pictures like these.
