Are you a crybaby?

I have this weird thing with crying. I truly believe that it is good for us – both emotionally and physically, and I honestly don’t mind it when people burst into tears at the drop of a hat.
 
In fact, I applaud people who cry often and easily. It makes me think they’re in touch with their emotions and that they’re actually feeling their feelings, and they're confident enough in their own strength that they don’t mind appearing vulnerable.
 
And I’m great at it when they do. I don’t panic, I suddenly discover untapped reserves of patience, and I am always ready to fix mascara or a cup of tea.

Yet I am always slightly horrified when it happens to me.
 
This is going to sound odd, but I always feel ambushed by my tears. Because seriously, there is NO warning. The one moment I’d be fine and merry and the next, BAM! My throat burns and my voice cracks and I’m leaking from my eyes. (I realise this doesn’t say much for my self-awareness. Thanks, it is something I will look into.)
 
And then I feel awkward and embarrassed, or – and this is the worst – amused. Yes. I find it funny when I cry, which means mostly when I cry I also laugh at the same time. This has the unfortunate effect of making me look as if I’m hysterical and people around me often wonder whether they should slap me in the face.
 
(Quick aside: does that actually work outside of the movies? I suspect that a slap through the face will only make matters worse if I’m ever in actual hysterics.)
 
But anyway, when the laughing and crying subsides and I feel like a sodden, wrung-out dishcloth at the mercy of her weird emotions, I always feel better, if slightly mortified.
 
It’s interesting to see what sets people off though, isn’t it? It can be anything from the very mundane (to my utter shame I once cried to a Enrique Iglesias music video) to the things designed to pull heartstrings (sad movies, reality TV) to the hormonal (periods, fertility treatment, menopause) to really important sad stuff (loss, death, disease, misery).
 
And then there’s the Rage Cry.
 
Of all types of crying this one is the worst. Talk about ambushing? You never see this one coming. Whether it happens with your partner, at work (oh the horror!), with strangers or in traffic, this cry is the one designed to trip you up and make you look stupid.
 
Just ask anyone who happened to be in the Adderley Street branch of Standard Bank this Monday. I was busy explaining to the teller how appallingly I’ve been treated by the bank, when suddenly, out of the blue I burst into tears.
 
And just like that I went from legitimately irate customer to hormonal nutbag.
 
To be fair, I was treated with more care after my waterworks, but that didn’t make up for the humiliation.

I am just thankful that I didn’t start laughing too because I think that’s when security guards in banks start to get antsy.

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