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I am one of those girls that cannot tolerate fake people. You know the two-faced “friend” who compliments you and then cuts you down to anyone who will listen? The sympathetic colleague who pretends to care, before spreading rumours behind your back.
That insincere in-law who is so friendly to your face, then bad mouths you the moment you are out of earshot.
People like this drain me. They test my patience and my trust and I try to keep a distance. Yet, with technology I am not finding this easy.
Take my old BlackBerry for instance – before I knew it, I had a long list of contacts and many were people I didn’t like very much! Yet, how do you say no to an unfriendly colleague when they send you an e-mail requesting your BBM pin?
Then before you know it, you find yourself a part of someone’s daily updates (most of which are bragging, ranting or indescribable statuses that can simply be summed up as Too Much Information).
And it is from people you don’t like and (judging by their behaviour) don’t like you! But no, it is suddenly imperative to be a part of each other’s lives through technology. We collected stickers when we were in primary school, now as adults we collect contacts like it is going out of fashion.
When I joined Facebook I purposely didn’t broadcast the fact.The reason? I only want to be in contact with people I genuinely like.
When I joined, I sent requests to close family and friends, old colleagues I missed and school friends I hadn’t seen in years. It has been really enjoyable reconnecting with those I had lost contact with but I am keeping my group of friends small as I only want to share with people I actually care about.
I also prefer to only read and catch up with people who care about me. I am not interested in what the mean girls from school are up to.
What amazes me is how many people who despised each other in high school, are all buddies on Facebook.
Yes, maybe they did move on from the past and good for them if they did – but have a look at your friend’s list of friends and you will spot people they openly don’t like/aren’t talking to/find rude etc still popping up on their timeline. I have seen people have a massive fall out but stay Facebook friends.
People who cut contact with people but keep them as a BBM contact. So you can openly dislike someone to their face but you cannot unfriend/unfollow or delete them?
Have I missed something?
I know some people use Facebook as a means to tell everyone about their fabulous lives. Articles have been written about the over-sharing and endless boasting that takes place and clutters up timelines all over the world. So clearly the folk from my school days have looked past who called who a slut in Grade 11, in order to share or brag (you choose!) to their old classmates.
Is it a way to say “look everyone I really did learn how to dress like a lady” or is it a reminder that no matter how well we think we know people, we really don’t know them at all?
And speaking of not knowing people, what is up with getting friendship requests from people you have never met, spoken to or even heard of? We have one mutual friend but if I don’t know you, why would you think we are friends?
Again am I missing something? I see people with over 600 friends on Facebook so maybe I am doing something very wrong.
People often complain about those who lock their Twitter accounts. I use this function because I prefer that my status updates and random photos are not out there for all to see.
I am one of those people that wouldn’t like a bad day at work to be broadcasted to everyone. I understand that some cannot understand that and in their opinion Twitter is about following as many as possible and getting lots of follow backs.
I respect those who open up for the world but I prefer to connect with people I know or those I admire. I adore following authors and others who love books as much as I do.
I enjoy catching up with an ex colleague who moved to Jo’burg, friends overseas and 2 colleagues I chat to in the office. Yet the other day my follower requests included someone I couldn’t describe as very nice. We have very little in common and even less to talk about.
She has been downright rude over the years, sweet when it suited her and is one of those people that you just cannot figure out. Why would someone who cannot be considered friendly (never mind a friend) want to read my tweets?
If you have been rather rude over the phone to me for years, why would I like to read about you on my phone. Am I being antisocial for not clicking “accept”?
Which brings me to another question: has saying “no” online become taboo?
Can we be as unpleasant as possible to each other in the office/at parties/at family get togethers but be best of mates on Facebook and Twitter? Is this really what being social is about? I have an in-law who has been so sour over the years, she makes expired milk look welcoming.
Yet I mentioned I had a BlackBerry and hold it! Drop everything! Her BB is hauled out and we became BBM contacts in seconds. This is from someone who asks me how old I am during most of her perfunctory birthday phone calls (we are that close).
I politely commented on numerous status updates (tried to be the bigger person and do the right thing) but never got a peep when my gran had a massive op and I was worried sick.
For this person, BBM was for broadcasting her fabulous existence – treat those in real life like rubbish but bombard them with pictures and news. Up to four times. In one afternoon.
I just don’t get it and maybe I’m not supposed to. Maybe the future is filled with everyone knowing everyone’s business, being as mean as they want to, but sending you requests to like pages of theirs. The fact you avoid each other in real life doesn’t matter.
Maybe we are meant to be as fake as possible – faux fur and faux friendships.Maybe the one with the most friends/followers and contacts wins. I hope not, but maybe this is something we cannot fight.
Maybe I am meant to openly share my inner thoughts and birthday photos with people I want nothing to do with. Maybe this is the new way of ‘being social’.
The people who meet genuine friends for coffee and a chat will be looked at with disdain while everyone accumulates as many friends as possible on the web.
They say “keep your friends close and your enemies closer” is this how we will do it going forward? By disliking someone in real life but still constantly clicking ‘like’ online?
SAHedgehog is a Women24 reader and blogs on Women24's blogging platform. Start your own blog here.
Follow Women24 on Twitter.
That insincere in-law who is so friendly to your face, then bad mouths you the moment you are out of earshot.
People like this drain me. They test my patience and my trust and I try to keep a distance. Yet, with technology I am not finding this easy.
Take my old BlackBerry for instance – before I knew it, I had a long list of contacts and many were people I didn’t like very much! Yet, how do you say no to an unfriendly colleague when they send you an e-mail requesting your BBM pin?
Then before you know it, you find yourself a part of someone’s daily updates (most of which are bragging, ranting or indescribable statuses that can simply be summed up as Too Much Information).
And it is from people you don’t like and (judging by their behaviour) don’t like you! But no, it is suddenly imperative to be a part of each other’s lives through technology. We collected stickers when we were in primary school, now as adults we collect contacts like it is going out of fashion.
When I joined Facebook I purposely didn’t broadcast the fact.The reason? I only want to be in contact with people I genuinely like.
When I joined, I sent requests to close family and friends, old colleagues I missed and school friends I hadn’t seen in years. It has been really enjoyable reconnecting with those I had lost contact with but I am keeping my group of friends small as I only want to share with people I actually care about.
I also prefer to only read and catch up with people who care about me. I am not interested in what the mean girls from school are up to.
What amazes me is how many people who despised each other in high school, are all buddies on Facebook.
Yes, maybe they did move on from the past and good for them if they did – but have a look at your friend’s list of friends and you will spot people they openly don’t like/aren’t talking to/find rude etc still popping up on their timeline. I have seen people have a massive fall out but stay Facebook friends.
People who cut contact with people but keep them as a BBM contact. So you can openly dislike someone to their face but you cannot unfriend/unfollow or delete them?
Have I missed something?
I know some people use Facebook as a means to tell everyone about their fabulous lives. Articles have been written about the over-sharing and endless boasting that takes place and clutters up timelines all over the world. So clearly the folk from my school days have looked past who called who a slut in Grade 11, in order to share or brag (you choose!) to their old classmates.
Is it a way to say “look everyone I really did learn how to dress like a lady” or is it a reminder that no matter how well we think we know people, we really don’t know them at all?
And speaking of not knowing people, what is up with getting friendship requests from people you have never met, spoken to or even heard of? We have one mutual friend but if I don’t know you, why would you think we are friends?
Again am I missing something? I see people with over 600 friends on Facebook so maybe I am doing something very wrong.
People often complain about those who lock their Twitter accounts. I use this function because I prefer that my status updates and random photos are not out there for all to see.
I am one of those people that wouldn’t like a bad day at work to be broadcasted to everyone. I understand that some cannot understand that and in their opinion Twitter is about following as many as possible and getting lots of follow backs.
I respect those who open up for the world but I prefer to connect with people I know or those I admire. I adore following authors and others who love books as much as I do.
I enjoy catching up with an ex colleague who moved to Jo’burg, friends overseas and 2 colleagues I chat to in the office. Yet the other day my follower requests included someone I couldn’t describe as very nice. We have very little in common and even less to talk about.
She has been downright rude over the years, sweet when it suited her and is one of those people that you just cannot figure out. Why would someone who cannot be considered friendly (never mind a friend) want to read my tweets?
If you have been rather rude over the phone to me for years, why would I like to read about you on my phone. Am I being antisocial for not clicking “accept”?
Which brings me to another question: has saying “no” online become taboo?
Can we be as unpleasant as possible to each other in the office/at parties/at family get togethers but be best of mates on Facebook and Twitter? Is this really what being social is about? I have an in-law who has been so sour over the years, she makes expired milk look welcoming.
Yet I mentioned I had a BlackBerry and hold it! Drop everything! Her BB is hauled out and we became BBM contacts in seconds. This is from someone who asks me how old I am during most of her perfunctory birthday phone calls (we are that close).
I politely commented on numerous status updates (tried to be the bigger person and do the right thing) but never got a peep when my gran had a massive op and I was worried sick.
For this person, BBM was for broadcasting her fabulous existence – treat those in real life like rubbish but bombard them with pictures and news. Up to four times. In one afternoon.
I just don’t get it and maybe I’m not supposed to. Maybe the future is filled with everyone knowing everyone’s business, being as mean as they want to, but sending you requests to like pages of theirs. The fact you avoid each other in real life doesn’t matter.
Maybe we are meant to be as fake as possible – faux fur and faux friendships.Maybe the one with the most friends/followers and contacts wins. I hope not, but maybe this is something we cannot fight.
Maybe I am meant to openly share my inner thoughts and birthday photos with people I want nothing to do with. Maybe this is the new way of ‘being social’.
The people who meet genuine friends for coffee and a chat will be looked at with disdain while everyone accumulates as many friends as possible on the web.
They say “keep your friends close and your enemies closer” is this how we will do it going forward? By disliking someone in real life but still constantly clicking ‘like’ online?
SAHedgehog is a Women24 reader and blogs on Women24's blogging platform. Start your own blog here.
Follow Women24 on Twitter.
