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It’s been five years since she gave up her addiction to benzodiazepines (sedatives) and American writer and actress Lena Dunham is the happiest she’s ever been.
“The last five years have been the happiest of my time on earth so far, at least this time around. They’ve been full of work, love, complexity and yes, pain,” she shared in a heartfelt Instagram post.
“Facing all that without medicating myself in unhealthy ways has given me a sturdy baseline and new tools.”
In her post which was accompanied by a carousel of recent images of her, Lena (36), who is best known as the creator and star of hit TV series Girls, reflected on the start of her journey to sobriety.
“Five years ago today, I set foot-trembling like a little kid into treatment for substance misuse. My parents hugged me goodbye, I changed into house slippers and there I was,” she recalls.
Lena, who struggled with crippling anxiety, was first prescribed the anti-anxiety pill Klonopin when she was 12 years old.
Her anxiety made it difficult for her to keep up with her daily obligations, she shared in a 2018 interview on the Armchair Expert podcast.
Lena said the pill made her feel like, “the person I was supposed to be”.
“It was like suddenly I felt like the part of me that I knew was there, was freed up to do her thing.”
As Lena started to experience more anxiety symptoms, including panic attacks, her Klonopin dosage increased.
“I was, to put it lightly, misusing benzos even though it was all 'doctor prescribed'. It stopped being, ‘I take one when I fly’, to, ‘I take one when I’m awake’.”
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In 2018, she entered rehab at the Friendly House treatment centre in Los Angeles.
In an interview with The Guardian last year, Lena shared that she became addicted to Klonopin because she was struggling with life in the public eye.
Her anxiety inhibited her from keeping up with her demanding work schedule.
Lena says that in her twenties she thought she had to show up as a “big business b***h” but rehab has taught her otherwise.
“Now, I understand that I can have a life in this industry and still be a weirdo who hangs out in a tiny room, water colouring. Now I always joke that I wish everybody could go to rehab.”
At the start of her struggle with addiction, Lena remembers dealing with it little by little until it suddenly hit her all at once.
What followed was the most difficult part – asking for help.
“I mean, aside from the other hard parts, but each step from there got easier and easier and easier. And ease was always the goal,” Lena says.
“Ease in my body, ease in my restless mind and the ease to exist in moments of pain, anxiety and uncertainty without reaching for a solution that seemed to help in the moment but pulled me further away from the people I love and the life that I wanted.”
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As she journeys through sobriety, Lena has expressed her gratitude for the support she’s received.
“I was able to get and stay sober because I had the support and resources to ask for and get incredible help, medical and spiritual.
“For so many people, the difference between sober and using isn’t their willingness or their strength – it’s their resources. We don’t have a system that makes this easy for those who are already struggling to make their lives work.”
On what she calls her “sober birthday”, 10 April, Lena said there are many people who deserve thanks in her life.
“I hope I’ve given them enough of that face to face, but today is a good reminder to give more.
“Every day is a lesson I am lucky to learn, and I don’t take it for granted. So especially today, I am grateful.”
In 2021, Lena got engaged to British-Peruvian musician Luis Felber after only a few months of knowing each other. They married soon after.
“We got engaged after four months and married after seven months, which is not something I recommend to everybody, but it worked for us,” she told The Times.
The couple, who met through mutual friends, had a first date that lasted 12 hours.
Lena said what bowled her over about Luis was that he accepted every part of her.
“I knew this relationship was different because at every stage, when there was something that could potentially deter him, he met it with total enthusiasm.
“What I love most about this man is his spirit – big and life-giving, cunning and goofy. I love how he wakes up excited to greet the day every day (unlike his moody wife) – and shares that spirit with everyone we meet, everywhere we go,” she says.
SOURCES: INSTAGRAM.COM, DAILYMAIL.CO.UK, THE GUARDIAN.COM, THETIMES.CO.UK, SELF.COM
