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Arms a blacksmith would be proud of. A butt you could bounce a R5 coin off. Thighs that send cellulite packing before it can a pucker in. Breasts any cone-shaped bra would be proud to bear.
There are many ways to describe the physical attributes Madonna has been displaying in the 40 years she’s been on the scene. And good for her – the queen of pop works hard at her age-defying body and she’s reaped the benefits.
Many a middle-aged woman would love to have what she has if it didn’t require so much damn hard work. As Meryl Streep once mused, “I always remember what [French actress] Catherine Deneuve said: ‘After a certain age, you can have your face or you can have your ass, it’s one or the other’. I’ve chosen my face and I’ll sit on the rest of it.”
Yet it seems Madge doesn’t want to choose. She has the ass – and now she has the face too: smooth, plump, virtually wrinkle-free, full-lipped, high-browed and blemish-less.
But Madge, oh, Madge, have you gone too far?
The 64-year-old’s almost freakishly flawless face was one of the talking points of the recent Grammy Awards.
She looks like a Madonna impersonator, one critic said. Has she been nominated for best new face? another asked. “Madonna looks good for age – if that age belonged to a 2 700-year-old vampire who eats babies and small animals alive,” yet another said.
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All pretty mean, really.
Still, this is Madonna we’re talking about – and she has never been one to stew in silence.
As the criticism raged she hit back, laying the blame on close-up pics she said “distorted” her appearance. She also vented her fury at how people ignored what she said at the Grammys and chose to focus on her face instead.
Madonna introduced best pop duo winners Sam Smith, who’s nonbinary, and trans-artist Kim Petra ahead of a performance of their song Unholy. But that wasn’t what people took away, she says.
“My speech was about giving thanks for the fearlessness of artists like Sam and Kim, but many people chose to only talk about close-up photos of me taken with a long-lens camera by a press photographer that would distort anyone’s face,” she fumes.
“A world that refuses to celebrate women past the age of 45 and feels the need to punish her if she continues to be strong-willed, hardworking and adventurous.”
She has never apologised for any of the “creative choices” she’s made, she adds, and isn’t about to start now. “I’m happy to do the trailblazing so all the women behind me can have an easier time in the years to come.
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“In the words of Beyonce´, ‘You won’t break my soul’.”
Madonna certainly seemed to be enjoying herself at the Grammys. She larked about backstage, brandished a riding crop to go with her black military-style suit as she posed with rapper Cardi B and touched tongues with rapper and songwriter Jazzy.
She likes making out in public, does Madge. She snogged Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera at the MTV awards in 2003, made out with Nicki Minaj at Nicki’s 29th birthday party in 2012, pulled into then-boyfriend Brahim Zaibat on stage at a concert in Brazil in 2012 concert, locked lips with Taylor Swift at the iHeart Radio Awards in 2015 and kissed Drake at Coachella that same year.
She isn’t about to change anything because some people have decided she should be behaving more demurely now she’s in her mid-60s. “I look forward to many more years of subversive behaviour – pushing boundaries, standing up to the patriarchy and most of all, enjoying my life,” she says.
If people don’t like it they can lump it – and after her Grammys outing there are many people who don’t like what they see.
Daily Mail columnist Sarah Vine expressed similar sentiments. “Madonna has always been an icon of female determination,” she says.
“To see her redefining herself along such limited and limiting lines, succumbing to the pressure to deny the passage of time and adhering to unrealistic beauty standards goes against everything this icon has ever stood for: freedom, defiance, individuality.”
Madonna will no doubt not give them a second thought. She’s never admitted to having had work done but she’s also never spoken out against it.
“I’m certainly not against plastic surgery,” she told the Mirror UK in 2012. “However, I’m absolutely against having to discuss it.”
In 2019 there was much speculation the mom of six had had butt implants after she performed on New Year’s Eve at New York’s Stonewall Inn, her derriere looking perkier than ever.
“Desperately seeking no one’s approval,” she said. “And entitled to free agency over my body like everyone else.”
It's clear nothing or no one is going to stop her doing what she does best – raising eyebrows, getting people’s backs up and keeping the conversation going.
“Here’s what I’ve learned after four decades in music,” she says. “If they call you shocking, scandalous, troublesome, problematic, provocative or dangerous, you’re onto something.”
Experts agree it’s highly unlikely Madonna hasn’t had extensive work done.
“I suspect she’s been having subtle work for over 20 years so her current look is an amalgamation of those procedures,” says UK cosmetic surgeon Tijion Esho.
Dr Natalie Tabares, another British plastic surgeon agrees. “If you look closely, there were changes in photos starting in her later 20s.
“One of the first changes I noticed was that the position of her brows became higher – definitely telling of a brow lift.”
Her lack of expression lines and wrinkles as well as her “minimal facial movement” indicate Botox, she adds.
Michael Horn, a plastic surgeon from Chicago, believes she’s had a facelift recently.
“This is obvious because her skin is tight. Her eyes also seem smaller, likely due to being pulled during a facelift.”
He adds her face has changed to a V-shape.
“She’s seemingly used excessive filler over time, giving her face a full appearance and taking away from the natural and pleasing bone structure she once had. Her cheekbones are more prominent and appear unnaturally high.”
Her lips are “no stranger” to fillers either. “They’re at a stage where further overfilling could make the tissue overstretched and redundant.”
SOURCES: DAILYSTAR.CO.UK, MIRROR.CO.UK, DAILYMAIL.CO.UK, INSTAGRAM, THESOUTHAFRICAN.COM
