“It happened shortly after my 12th birthday. He was a good family friend – I had met him when I was nine years old. The day he started sexually abusing me was pretty ordinary, he came to pick me up from school as he sometimes did with permission from my mother.

We went to get milkshakes and when he said he’d like to take me for a drive to Rhodes Memorial, I was excited as I had never been there before.

He found a quiet spot to park and asked me if I had seen a penis before. I found his question odd and replied no. He said, “You’re a pretty girl. When your breasts start to grow, boys will want to take advantage of you.”

He said he would make it his duty to make sure that didn’t happen. As that stage, I was totally blank as to what the connection was between having seen a penis and boys taking advantage of me because of my breasts.

He then unzipped his pants, took out his penis and asked, “Do you want to touch it?”

I shook my head, looked out the window and asked him to take me home. He ‘kindly’ mentioned that it wasn’t a question but an order, and proceeded to remind me that we were stuck in the middle of nowhere and he could do worse to me if I wasn’t co-operative. Startled by how aggressive his tone was, I looked at him and saw that he wasn’t joking...”

About the book:

In My First Time, Southern African women have shared their stories about their significant first time experiences of sex and sexuality. This is a collection of honest, powerful, and brave accounts. Some joyful, others funny and some heartbreaking, but all of them important for women, and hopefully men, to read.

The collection includes stories such as: My first orgasm, My first abortion, My first miscarriage, My first kiss with a woman, My first memory of being aroused, The first time I had to deal with rape and my first post-divorce sex.

We've also featured an additional few extracts from the book listed below.

The First Time I was Pregnant for a day
The First Time I Bought a Vibrator
My First Orgasm


Do you remember your first time? Share your experiences with us below.

Visit myfirsttimesa.com to read more stories and to find out information on how to pre-order.


You can also visit the Modjadji’s Facebook page for more information on their titles.