I’ve been invited – okay I’m a plus one – to a wedding this coming Saturday and I really want to wear my matric dance dress, which just happens to be white. It’s an over-the-knee flowy little number with modest pearl details around the jewel neckline.

I have received some backlash from basically everyone I’ve told about my potential outfit for the wedding.

What’s the big deal?

I tend to be more apathetic than the average person, and that gets me into trouble; with words like “rude” and “selfish” being thrown my way on a daily basis and I’ve now developed a nonchalant response regarding these insults.

I should be able to wear the dress that I want. It’s not like the groom is going to accidentally start reciting the vows to me.

Why do I even want to wear a white dress you ask?

Well, for very superficial reasons of course. It looks nice and is basically the only wedding-y dress I have.

Unless the bride and groom would rather I wear an “Adolf Hipster” shirt and high-tops?

I’m very baffled by this ordeal and my dramatic nature will not allow me to back down on this.

I am aware that it’s the bride’s big day, but as far as I know I’m seated right at the back and I’m pretty sure none of the guests will pay attention to me. I’m planning on looking as humble and modest as possible.

According to traditional wedding etiquette wearing white is generally frowned upon, but so is wearing red (it’s too seductive) and wearing black is also a big no-no because it’s a little funereally. I don’t usually attend weddings, but I’ve seen countless guests wearing these colours.

A white gown has always been associated with purity and virginity. Seriously, how many virgin brides are there these days? People wear white on their weddings despite not being “pure” in the traditional sense, so surely I can also bend the rules.

I read that there a few exceptions to this rule:

1.    If it’s not a traditional wedding

2.    If the dress is not all-white and so long as it doesn’t resemble the actual gown at all

3.    And lastly, if the dress code is themed

Even after doing the necessary research I’m not sure what the fuss is about. Even my grandmother agrees with me. But with that said I do come from a line of baby mamas and baby daddies.

The females in my family are basically against marriage and I think this somewhat explains my attitude towards weddings.

My point is I really want to wear my WHITE matric dance dress. How many people get to the opportunity to theirs again?

But for the sake of “offending” one less person, I’ll email the bride and ask if the wedding is traditional or not.