The couple were first rumoured to be dating in mid-May not long after Ariana ended things with Mac Miller says Channel24. They then later made it Instagram official and have been posting things about each other since. Pete even got two new Ariana-inspired tattoos.
Now, just a few short weeks after they started dating, the couple are rumoured to be engaged. And while various sources say they’re not rushing to get married and are looking forward to a long engagement, it does short of make you wonder why would you want to rush into getting engaged or getting married so quickly after dating someone for such a short while?
Not that it’s abnormal in Hollywood. Amy Schumer married chef Chris Fischer just a few months after they started dating. Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom were together for one month before they got hitched and George and Amal Clooney were together just 6 months before they got engaged.
So we asked our readers if they could give us some every day examples of people who got married or engaged quickly and what happened to them and this is what they had to say:
Dad and stepmom got engaged after 4 months and married in 2 weeks, they were together for 15 years until his death. Sure it would have lasted longer, it was bumpy in the beginning but they were a team in the end.— Gillian “didn’t I tell you to listen to me?” (@GBasson) June 12, 2018
But then we also spoke to Mimi Hewett, a relationship and family counsellor, and asked her to give us her opinion on these kinds of situations. Fun fact: Mimi herself only dated her now-husband for five months before they got engaged!
The obvious first question - Is getting married after dating for such a short period of time ever a god idea?
“Yes and no,” says Mimi. “If a person is totally honest with their partner from the first meeting, one could get to know the other person in a reasonably short period of time. A short dating period does not necessarily indicate a short marriage. Some people might date for years before getting married and then get divorced shortly after getting married.
I think it depends more on the value people place on the commitment they made with their partner, than on the amount of time they spent together before getting engaged or married.”
“When it might not be a good idea, is when people decide to get married based on the feeling of being “in love”, instead of based on the decision to love, respect and honour each other, whether you feel like it or not, because marriage is not always pretty, it can sometimes get messy and ugly. And that’s when you should be able to rely on each other for the decision you made to stick it out and to not move on because you don’t “feel” like it anymore.”
So why do people get married so quickly after dating for a short time? Is it all butterflies and big ideas? Or is there something more there?
“The chemistry that happens when someone is in love is a very nice feeling – the butterflies in the stomach, the stars in each other’s eyes, the large amounts of endorphins rushing through your brain... it’s a known fact that people can get addicted to the feeling of being in love,” says Mimi. “When this feeling wears off as time goes by and it is not replaced by a deeper sense of love, affection, respect, trust and the partnership of “being in this together”, people might get bored with their partners and start seeking for that “feeling” (or that “high”) in someone new.”
But once you’ve made the promise to love and cherish that special someone for the rest of your life, you want to make sure you honour them with that sentiment, right? So we asked Mimi for some advice to couples who get married or engaged quickly:
- “Make sure to work on keeping the love alive – by investing in not only the “in-love feeling”, but also in building a strong, secure, trusting and loving relationship and partnership. Be sure to know your partners likes and dislikes; their love language (See Dr Gary Chapman’s book on the 5 Love Languages).
- "Invest in as many “date nights” as you can afford and building sweet memories, to keep you going through the tough times.
- "Good communication is also one of the biggest requirements to a happy, healthy relationship. And the most important part of communication, is being able to LISTEN to what your partner needs!
- "Marriage is ultimately not about me keeping myself happy, but about me doing everything in my power to keep my partner happy and vice versa. True, real, lasting Love is never selfish, it is the biggest form of selflessness there is... It also never fades... so if you are blessed enough to find it, hang on to it and marry him/her.... you don’t have to date for ten years, just to check if it’s real... if it’s real, you’ll know it!”
Mimi Hewett is a registered counsellor in Brackenfell, Cape Town. You can call her on 084 2055 723 or email her at firstname.lastname@example.org or visit her website.
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