The types of fashion you'll see in church

There’s no denying the Saturday evening pressure about what you’ll be wearing to church the following day. Is church fashion superficial? Sure, but fashion is an expression and it adds to how you feel as you prepare to either receive spiritual fulfilment or be rebuked from the pulpit. Sunday morning services are an occasion, and so you’ll see all types of expressions brought through clothing.

Here are some that you might relate to:

The ostentatious first lady 

She’s the belle of the ball and doesn’t play around with what she wears on a Sunday. It’s either custom-made or comes from the most desirable boutique in her community – and best believe she’s going to name drop that thing. Her hat is big and, depending on her denomination, she might throw in some gloves for when she moves slowly to the front row while the church is singing so that everyone can turn their eyes away from Jesus and marvel in her fashionable glory. Every other sister in church secretly wishes they could pull off her looks, while whispering to the person next to them “she thinks this is a fashion show”. And yes, the church isle is her runway.

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The spinster 

They are the sweet women in the church who are always willing to lend a helping hand, but get judged by everyone else for being middle aged, single and still living with their parents. Their dresses are sweet and floral, and their hair modestly styled – most times in a halo braid.

Why am I here?

Think Justin Bieber Sunday fashion at the Hillsong Church in Beverly Hills. This crew is traditionally dragged to morning services by their mothers shouting at them and reminding them how ungrateful they are for the oxygen the Lord has given them. They much prefer hanging out at the youth group meetings where their tracksuits, jeans, beanies, and frowns are welcome.

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'That's too short. I see breasts!'

This young lady who is judged every Sunday – because thou shalt not judge anyone but them – is usually unfamiliar with the protocols of church attire and avoiding those side eyes. Every person that blames these young sisters for distracting the precious innocent men in church seriously has to chill. More power to this group! Do your thing girl. If judging her is the cross you want to bear, then go for it, she’s there to slay for Jesus. No one wants to wear old-lady-in-a-casket apparel to church.

The tight-suit brother

This is the young brother excited for God in his Markham suit that’s close to bursting at the seams. That thing is tight! And as he makes his way to the front of the Pentecostal church to “juig”, everyone cringes as the seams become loose. And, please, let’s not forget the long pointy-toed shoes. Then there are the elders and deacons who refuse to stop wearing those little shirts that make you wonder how they buttoned it in the first place because it’s very close to an explosion. Greeting them is just awkward, with their bellies winking through the buttons.

READ MORE: #StyleCrush Lootlove's suit game

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What other fashion stereotypes do you see in church?
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