When Drum spoke to Zodwa and her beau Ntobeko Linda about their unconventional proposal and taking their relationship to the next level, nothing seemed amiss. But when the local entertainer, who admitted to almost ditching the initial proposal plan during an interview, abruptly announced to her followers that there wouldn’t be a wedding, it raised a lot of eyebrows.
But were the signs there the whole time that the couple wouldn’t make it to the alter?
A recent thread on Reddit asked marriage counsellors to list common mistakes that married couples make that lead to divorce. Below are some of the reasons that were listed and how they could’ve factored into Zodwa’s decision to not go through with her wedding.
Speaking about the process she will take in paying dowry for her man, Zodwa told Drum,
“I don’t want to involve men in this because it has nothing to do with them. I’m doing this for women.”
While defying societal perceptions in a bid for love seemed worth the leap of faith, the reality star did point out that “men don’t want to marry us anymore.” Which according to LiveSceince should never be one of the reasons why a proposal is made, simply because it might leave your partner in a compromised position.
Having an urge to prove a point to the general public can in some instances lead to unhappiness.
When announcing that they would be no wedding, Zodwa wrote, “I'm Loosing myself. I need my Spark back. I'm not Happy anymore [sic].”
Psychology Today explained that the latter could be a result of not taking into consideration the future of your relationship because you have the wrong intentions.
When it comes to power dynamics, Essence suggests that finances can often take a toll on a couple and this was quite clear in the case of Zodwa and Ntobeko.
“I don’t have money, but she knows I wanted this to happen,” Ntobeko said after revealing that he planned to marry Zodwa once he had enough money.
In most of their relationship, Zodwa has been quite vocal about her having to take on the burden of the finances most of the time.
Having the whole relationship on public display for scrutiny can also put unnessary pressure on a relationship. Speaking to Drum the mother-of-one also got candid about the backlash she received after the proposal.
“My family is happy but I’ve been called all sorts of names by ordinary people on the street for taking our power as women.”
PsychCentral suggests that affection displayed on social media for the public to see doesn’t necessarily have the same impact in reality.
Although Zodwa is taking a break, she explained that this does not mean the end of their relationship but rather just a break for herself.
"I'm just tired from the relationship. I'm hurt so I'm taking time off from him. Not from the relationship or the wedding. So, it's just a break," Zodwa told Channel24.