I’m a 32-year-old woman in a committed relationship with a 37-year-old man. I love the guy very much but I’m worried about his weight. I’ve advised him on numerous occasions to lose weight for health reasons but he says if I’m not happy I must leave. I don’t want to lose him but I’m not sure how to help him. This weight thing really bothers me as it’s unhealthy.
Weight can be a very sensitive issue to discuss with a loved one, whether they’re male or female. The person can easily get irritated because it’s unlikely they’re unaware of their weight problem – it’s more likely that they’re not sure how to tackle it and perhaps feel overwhelmed. Since talking to him hasn’t worked, maybe you could ask one of his family members to raise the issue with him. Your boyfriend might then realise he has many people who care about him, including you. The person shouldn’t mention your name, though. He needs your support and maybe you can start by making good food choices when you cook and eat out. It shouldn’t always be about him and his weight – it should be a joint effort to be healthy. Don’t give up on him just yet – he might still come around and understand that you mean well.