Why doesn’t he propose?

Question

I’m 28 and I’ve been dating this guy for three years. I think we’re happy and good together, but the problem is he hasn’t proposed to me. We’ve talked about getting married, but he always says he doesn’t want to ruin the good thing we have. I would like to get married and start a family, but I also don’t want to put too much pressure on him. What should I do?

Answer

It seems your man is afraid of making a permanent commitment – why else would he say he doesn’t want to ruin the good thing you have? It implies he views marriage as something that’s not good and is instead something that will change the way in which you relate to each other.

His fear might be coming from what he’s seen or heard about marriage and now he’s wary of experiencing those things first-hand. All you can do is continue to show him how good you are together and that you’re ready for the next step in your relationship.

If the waiting becomes too much for you, then ask him about his intentions and how he sees your future together. If he isn’t willing to lose you, he’ll open up and talk to you about his fears so you can address them. One way of doing this would be to go for pre-marriage counselling. Suggest to him that you do so as a way to prepare for the future – his response will show you exactly where he stands.

The Knot.com advises that honest communication in a relationship the vital.  Open up and communicate with your partner. If you’re ready for commitment, it does not necessarily mean that your partner is also ready.

Marriage is a big step, be patient before your force him into something he is not ready for.