Question
My wife doesn’t enjoy sex anymore
I’m a 44-year-old man and my wife is 33. We have two kids, but our life isn’t like it used to be. I still love her, but I don’t think she loves me anymore. We don’t have sex very often and when we do it doesn’t feel the same.
She hardly touches me now and when we make love it’s always me who starts things. I have no proof but I’m wondering if she’s having an affair. The situation is very stressful and I’m thinking of giving up on her. Please help.
Answer
When it seems like your partner’s love has faded, but not yours, it can be a very complicated situation. Talk to your wife about your concerns regarding her attitude to sex and the status of your marriage. Just be aware of the manner in which you approach the subject.
Don’t sound as if you’re accusing her of anything. Bear in mind that there may be other reasons for your wife’s behaviour – and not necessarily the one you are suspecting. Sometimes a woman’s libido decreases after having children.
It could also be that she’s experiencing some kind of stress caused by something you’re unaware of. So, you need to tread carefully and tackle this in a way that doesn’t cause more tension in your marriage. If you’re not sure how to do it, you can seek the assistance of a marriage counsellor.
You can contact Famsa on 011-975-7106/7 to find a branch near you to set up a couple’s counselling session. The counsellor will be impartial and guide you on how to deal with whatever issues arise during the session. It’s good that you want to find out what’s wrong and remedy the situation instead of giving up.
Marriage Today suggests that I order to reverse the drift that’s happening between you and your partner, don’t put your focus on reconnecting in the bedroom. Don’t put pressure on the act of sex but find other ways of connecting with your partner.
Go back to the little things that make her laugh, pursue her and try to win her heart again.
