Question

I FOUND HIM WITH A BOY ON OUR BED

I suspect that my husband of four years likes boys. He has always been surrounded by teenage boys. At first, I thought he was being a father-figure because he never had a father growing up.

Everywhere he went, there would be a boy hanging around. People always gossiped about how my husband was molesting these young boys, and I fought everyone who was said to be spreading the rumours. But I recently got the shock of my life. My husband was feeling nauseous, he called in sick at his work and insisted that I went to work.

I did go to work, but my boss gave me a half day. As I got back home, I found the house in a mess. There were clothes everywhere and he was nowhere to be found. I looked for him, and eventually found him having sex with a 20-yearold boy on our bed. I am so humiliated. I don’t even know if I should leave or stay. What should I do?

Expert advice

Nthabiseng Madikgetla, a social worker, says, “It is important that I bring it to your attention that, if the boy is under-age, you have the responsibility to report your husband to the police. If you fail to do so, when the incident is reported and it comes out that you knew about it, you risk being charged as well for failure to report a child sexual abuse incident.

The other important reason why you should report the abuse is to help the boy get the necessary emotional and psychological support. On the other hand, you also have a lot to deal with yourself and need to make important decisions while dealing with the possibility that at the time you were protecting your husband, you were actually protecting a child molester.

I would recommend that you seek professional intervention and to understand the implications of any decision you may take regarding this matter.” 

Move! readers advise

VUYO STEMELA

You should report this incident to the police, depending on the age of that boy. If he’s over-age, then there’s is no need to report it because that would be consensual sex. But you need to seek professional help.

KHOLIWE MARCIA

First and foremost, sorry for the pain and betrayal your husband has caused you. He should be reported to the police. I’m sensing abuse here. He doesn’t deserve you. The problem is him, not you.

EDITH MANYUMA

 It’s not easy for some men to be open about their sexuality. I suspect your husband is gay and you saw the signs but ignored them. People told you and you chose to fight them. You have proof that he’s gay.

SELINA MACHETE

He is a pure pervert and evil man. Those children he molested and abused will never get back their innocence. Report him to the authorities and get counselling for yourself.