Publications
Partners
Dear Mr Minister, for a change please remember the forgotten woman at your side. For 45 years I was an invisible minister’s wife.
I found the ministry fulfilling. But it was also a time when I experienced a loss of identity, because you’re “the minister’s wife”.
I didn’t have any control over my own life or decisions and there was no time for your own interests or relaxation, because the congregation came first.
Nevertheless I realised it was my husband’s calling. My husband was the best preacher I’d ever heard.
His large congregation he created himself through hard work. At each service I sat in the second row from the front and hung on his lips.
I can still hear people sitting behind me saying they wonder what the minister’s wife looks like. Not knowing that it’s me sitting right there in front of them.
After the New Year service people would flock to the front to wish my husband well for the new year. I stood alone, feeling lost.
I felt my husband had a duty to call me to the front so we could start the new year together with the congregation’s blessing.
But no, he enjoyed all the attention and forgot about me.
My husband, whom I loved deeply, was ill for a long time.
Suddenly the congregation who was such staunch followers was nowhere to be seen. They were all just too busy to visit him.
When he died it was me, his soulmate, who was at his bedside until the moment he went to heaven.
Deep inside I wonder how far preachers would make it if they didn’t have a loving, considerate wife to keep their arms raised up.
I so wish that all the dominees, pastors and evangelists would take note of the woman beside them. Honour her, praise her and tell the congregation who she is.
– SUSAN BEETGE (YOU/HUISGENOOT READER)
