'She’s dating someone else'
Question
I’m a 36-year-old guy who’s been in prison since 2010 – I get out this year. I have a girlfriend who is a teacher at a private school and we have two kids. I never wanted us to separate and I always tell her I still love her, but now she’s dating another man. She hasn’t told her parents yet because they know me, and she still comes to see me twice a month.
My problem is I am very angry about what she’s doing, and I don’t want to get out of prison and end up hurting her. What can I do?
Answer
You need to ask her why she’s continuing to come to see you if she’s involved with someone else. Perhaps she doesn’t feel emotionally connected to you anymore and so she has moved on. Give her some credit for supporting you for nine years, but also try to understand that she might just be doing this out of obligation and the fact that you’re the father of her children.
It’s a big concern that you think you might hurt her when you get out. You have access to social workers in correctional institutions and you should utilise this service. Talk to the social worker who is preparing you for your release. Explain the situation and discuss your anger. You need to take this seriously so you don’t get out and end up doing something that will put you behind bars again.
PsychologyToday suggests that infidelity in some relationships sometimes occurs as a result of a lack of attention or intimacy. In some instances the cheater still loves their partner deeply but because there is a deficiency, they often then look elsewhere for fulfilment as opposed to leaving the relationship.