Question

I’m 22 and I’ve found the man of my dreams – he’s smart, funny and good-looking.  The trouble is everyone else seems to think so too. I’m sure he’s loyal, but he loves the attention he gets when we go out and this makes me feel insecure. What should I do?

Answer

You’ve found a good man and you know it, so why are you not enjoying the relationship?  You need to stop worrying about petty things. If he’s given you no reason to doubt him, then there’s no need to feel insecure.  You need to deal with your doubts and insecurities otherwise you’ll end up destroying a perfectly good relationship. 

If you feel uncomfortable with the way he’s acting then you need to tell him. Just make sure you do this carefully – not in an aggressive way that accuses him of doing anything improper.  You’ll need to make it clear that it’s not about you not trusting him.  Explain that the way he reacts to the attention he gets from other women makes you feel insecure.  Use your words carefully – what you say and how you say it will determine how he reacts.

According to PsychologyToday, chronic insecurity can cost you your success in life especially because it comes from ones inner self rather than their partner. This is why it is important to do an introspection of your life and find ways such as; keeping your independence through building yourself esteem and trusting yourself to overcome it.

Clinical Director, Guy Stuff Counseling & Coaching Dr. Kurt Smith, also suggested that it was important to have conversations with your partner about each other’s feelings and insecurities because more often than not they might be feeling the same way.