"He doesn’t take me seriously"
Question
I’ve been in a relationship for nearly two years. We recently got engaged and moved in together. Life was great until then – but now I’ve realised how lazy he is. We both work and my hours are longer than his but it’s always me who has to do all the housework. He doesn’t help. When I talk to him about it he seems to think it’s a joke. I don’t know how to make him take me seriously.
Answer
Your situation is evidence we never really know a person until we spend time with them in close quarters. Your man is showing you who he really is and what he believes in. From what you say it seems like your fiancé has quite a patriarchal view of life in that he believes it’s a woman’s job to do the household chores.
This might be something he grew up witnessing so he now believes it’s the right thing. You need to challenge this belief and keep telling him how it makes you feel until he understands. Ask him why he doesn’t take you seriously when you suggest he helps out. You’re in a partnership; you’re not his servant. If he still doesn’t come around you need to decide if this is how you want to live your life.
According to PsychologyToday it is important for couples to have conversations with regards to how chores or other house work should be split simply because when a lack of communication creates confusion. Particularly in a society whereby men have been raised in such a way that they believe house work is meant to be done by women only.
