I don’t know what’s wrong with my husband.

I think he could be bewitched. He’s a serial cheat, and he only cheats on me with his office assistants, especially the dirty ones. I acknowledge that my image has improved since I found a job.

Before I started taking good care of myself, my husband was running after good-looking women. Now that I improved my image to fit what I thought was my husband’s taste, he’s now after women who look even worse than what I looked like.

I really don’t know what my husband wants. I’m starting to doubt that there was ever something wrong with how I looked. I think he could be deliberately doing this to make me feel jealous. I’m so confused. What should I do? 

Expert advice

Nthabiseng Madikgetla, a social worker based in Benoni, says,

“It is common for women to think that they are the cause of their partner’s cheating and they try by all means to change what they think could be the problem. It is clear that this approach has not worked for you.

Instead, it got you more confused because you changed what you thought was the problem but the cheating never stopped. I sense that you really believe that you are the reason why your husband is cheating on you. I suggest that you talk to your husband and he must explain himself because he is the only one who can tell you why he is cheating on you.

Depending on his reasons and his willingness to work on the marriage, you both, as a couple, can begin to find a solution and seek professional help. I would also recommend that you get professional help on your own to boost your self-image. 

Move! reader’s advice

ELIZABETH RADEBE

You can change and be the way he wants you to be, but he’ll never change his bad ways. Just make yourself happy and stay away from this man. You can’t change a person who doesn’t want to change. 

TEBATSO RAMMUTLOA

Why are you putting up with his cheating? To me, it sounds like you are making an excuses for his cheating. You must love yourself. Why should you put up with a man who cheats on you?

ZINHLE SITHOLE

I don’t think his cheating has anything to do with you. He does it because he wants to. Even if you can be gorgeous, he will still cheat on you because he is not satisfied. Why are you still with him?

TERMKAY TINGANE

 It seems as if you are doing things to impress your hubby. Your happiness lies with him which is wrong. There may be someone out there who is willing to love you as you are and make you happy.