Raising Boity wasn’t easy, because I wasn’t always present. I couldn’t always be with her, but when I was, she could feel my unconditional love. I tried to not burden myself with guilt. I knew that I wasn’t abandoning her, but merely trying to provide and improve the situation at home so that she didn’t have to grow up the way I did.
I wasn’t completely comfortable with the idea of my daughter’s life in the public eye.The first proposal for a reality show came in 2016 and again in 2018. My first thought was: ‘but Boitumelo, you’re so much of a loner, you live such a boring life – what will this reality show be about?’ It took Boity a while to come around, and when she eventually did, I wanted to know why. She simply replied: “I feel ready to share my life with the world. I’m ready to be vulnerable and show people the real me.”
I was hoping not to be involved, but clearly she had other plans, so I will support her, because she’s my child.
We balance our mother-friend relationship by respecting each other and not crossing certain lines. For example, we live together, so I don’t expect her to invite a guy for a sleepover. The same applies to me too. I put my foot down as a parent when needs be, because I’m there to guide her. Whatever advice or teachings I impart comes from a place of genuine love. She knows I would never mislead her, and that she will understand my standpoint later.
My journey to becoming a healer wasn’t a walk in the park because I was in denial for a long time. I was always told that I had healing hands, but would brush it off with the hope that it would go away. My life became a downward spiral. I realised that I had to accept my calling or everything I had lived for could be taken away. The fear and thought of my daughter’s life somehow being affected also scared me. In 2016, I finally accepted my calling and focused solely on doing ancestral work and my prophetic gift.
Fear kept me from accepting my gift. I didn’t know what it involved. In all honesty, we still associate ubungoma with evil and uncleanliness – there’s still so much shame associated with spiritual work, and that instils fear in gifted people.
I don’t have an exercise routine. I used to take leisurely walks back in the days, but I injured my back in an accident in 2018. As a result, I’m unable to walk for too long. My health mantra is: don’t sell your soul for anything, at any point in your life. That way, your soul will take care of your body. Wine is also my friend [chuckles].
Four fashion items I can’t live without.
Shoes, handbags, sunglasses and belts. I invest in my handbags, whereas I’m easy with clothes. I can rock an item that costs R150. I can dress it so elegantly that you wouldn’t even suspect it costs that little.
READ MORE: 5 minutes of fashion with Candice Modiselle
The one lesson I’ve learnt from Boity is humility. Even in her childhood, she would remain down-to-earth and humble. For example, she would never question when I’m unable to buy her something, or act out by throwing tantrums. Also, she doesn’t brag, that’s a trait I deeply admire about her.