There is no doubt that Idols SA judge, Kaya FM on-air personality and musician Unathi Nkayi is a wealth of wisdom — and hers is the type informed by many experiences she has endured in her 41 years. From her divorce to debilitating work experiences, Unathi speaks with the candidness of a woman who is not threatened, or refuses to be held back, by the “abantu bazothini syndrome”. Her mission is clear — she would like as many women as possible to walk away healed after reading about her journey of patching herself together.
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Below are some of the quotes from our recent interview that will help you find the life you deserve:
1. “I left radio in 2017 because I needed to step away from the daily limelight, an audience or witnesses, so that I could hear my voice clearly. The greatest lesson I learnt, throughout, was to never overshare about the process you’re going through.”
2. “People think I’m stronger and more resilient than I actually am, or that I don’t get hurt by how they treat me. They assume that I’m only sensitive on Idols and that I, weirdly enough, switch that sensitivity off when it comes to the rest of my life. I love being vulnerable, and that’s why I’m in therapy. As black women, the expectation is often that we must prioritise others before ourselves, and I’ve had to decode a lot of those beliefs. I love and crave being taken care of. I want to feel protected and covered.”
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3. “My father is a retired psychologist, so therapy has always been a big theme in our family. I’ve always gone to therapy when I’ve needed it in the different pockets of my life. I also can’t live without gym, especially in the morning. I need the endorphins to boost my mood so I can be ready to host people.”
4. As I’ve grown older, I’ve learnt that it’s not what I say, but how I say it. Ten years ago, I was quite militant in how I said things, but being a mother has taught me gentle ways of presenting whatever truth I need to put out there.”
5. “My new Kaya FM gig means the world to me because it’s allowing me to be feminine in every way. What makes this gig that much more special is that my femininity is being celebrated and rewarded. I’m not being told that I have to adopt a masculine power in order to succeed.”
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6. “There is so much strength in healing, and owning our past traumas. It’s OK to not be OK, and to hit rock-bottom with an understanding that it is a fleeting phase.”
7. “I often tell friends that this new chapter feels as if I’m the young Eastern Cape girl who first arrived in Joburg in 2001. I’m discovering new places I was scared to go to. I recently discovered a skating rink in Bryanston, and go on bicycle tours around Soweto. It feels like I’m discovering this enormous city for the first time because I’m remembering the things I love and those I don’t. I have an appetite for life that I missed for a very long time.”
