Question:

Why doesn’t he propose?

I’m 28 and I’ve been dating this guy for three years. I think we’re happy and good together but the problem is he hasn’t proposed to me. We’ve talked about getting married but he always says he doesn’t want to ruin the good thing we have. I would like to get married and start a family but I also don’t want to put too much pressure on him. What should I do?

Answer:

It seems your man is afraid of making a permanent commitment – why else would he say he doesn’t want to ruin the good thing you have? It implies he views marriage as something that’s not good and is instead something that will change the way in which you relate to each other. His fear might be coming from what he’s seen or heard about marriage and now he’s wary of experiencing those things first-hand. All you can do is continue to show him how good you are together and that you’re ready for the next step in your relationship.

If the waiting becomes too much for you, then ask him about his intentions and how he sees your future together. If he isn’t willing to lose you he’ll open up and talk to you about his fears so you can address them. One way of doing this would be to go for pre-marriage counselling. Suggest to him that you do so as a way to prepare for the future – his response will show you exactly where he stands.

According to HuffPost there are several reasons why men might be sceptical to pop the big question, one of the common ones though is the fear of giving up their freedom. While the “fear of commitment” may not be a death sentence for your relationship, it is important to communicate your future expectations with your partner.