Tis the season to be jolly plums, and you know how I like people to be jolly. For weeks now I’ve been stressing about what to write for Christmas. Then, like most of my good ideas, the answer came to me in bed.

After tossing and turning in a fit of distress about how I could give some merriment to Women24 readers over the festive season, I decided to have a bit of a wank. This always relaxes me and, as you know, all good thinks happen in a state of supreme chillness.

As I lay drifting off after (pillow talk being off the cards), I noticed that my post-orgasm glow was falling squarely upon the object of my affection, the  DeLight. It occurred to me that what you obviously need is a list of the top sex toy yummies I’d like in my Christmas stocking – things that I think you’d quite like also. So to whit and forthwith, in no particular order, Dot’s Delights:

Shunga massage candle
When I first saw this I really thought it was another gimmicky load of rubbish. But not the case. The massage candle is made from all natural products – the ‘wax’ is actually solidified soybean oil that melts at quite a low temperature releasing some very erotic scents, including Aphrodisia (rose), Desire (vanilla), Libido (exotic fruits) and Sensation (lavender). Once the ‘wax’ has melted you extinguish the flame and pour a small amount of the warm (it never burns) liquid into your palm to massage into your partner. The oil feels really amazing on your skin, isn't greasy or sticky and smells awesome. I was pleasantly surprised. (Speaking of, The Bedroom’s massage oils are also pretty awesome. My fave is Arouse.) More info...

We-Vibe II
Every sensuality store I approached to give me a list of their top sellers (see below), listed the We-Vibe II as South Africa’s favourite toy. Billed as one of the most innovative and orgasmic new toys on the market, the We-Vibe has literally taken the world by storm. The first internal vibe for couples, the We-Vibe is designed so that while its one ‘arm’ rests between your labia, stimulating your clitoris, the other ‘arm’ slides into your vagina and is pushed against your g-spot by your man’s penis, which is slipped in underneath it.
More info here... Read my full review here...

Silicone Penis Sleeves
These are so much fun. They come with all kinds of ridges, knobs, bobs and swirls to tickle your lady bits on the inside, but mostly it’s a cool way to increase his girth and keep him harder for longer. Some guys find these difficult to put on (you’re supposed to put it on fully erect) and take them off, but for novelty value they’re great. Just remember you can’t use silicone lubes with silicone products, so stick to a water-based product. Which brings me to...

No sexy stocking is complete without lots of lube. There are two I use and highly recommend. The first is the Whet range, brought to you by Whet Sensuality Boutique. When I first met Marina, owner of the store and creator of the lube, she thrust three tubes of her lube in my bag with the words ‘You can NOT use KY and be in contact with me!’ I use her range – of which I quite like Extra Virgin and Very Slipberry – and when I’m at Mr Hardman’s we use his choice of lube – Assegai, which is quite lovely also. Naturally there are others, but these are the ones I use mostly.
More info here...

These are actually all from The Bedroom, but I find them really cute as stocking fillers. The first is The Sex Bell, which you ring when you want sex. Not for my stocking mind, frankly I couldn’t risk carpal tunnel any more than I already do. The BJ in a Bag is a witty little bag with some bubbly and other saucy goodies to get her in the mood for your wood. Though, I find, a good round of cunningligus should do the trick. And then the Booby Squeeze Stress Ball, something that came to my attention when a squishy nipple presented itself to me in a package meant for Sasha. It was a lot of squeezy fun for me and I wasn’t even stressed in the least. As I've always maintained, if was a guy, I'd be a boob guy. For shame.

Saucy gear
I like lingerie but I’ve never been into crotchless anything. I like my rips made impromptu. Nevertheless, I started becoming slightly intrigued after finding out that cotchless g-string panties were a big seller this year. So I wouldn’t mind a little of that in my stocking. And then something I always recommend – leather cuffs by Kinx. They make the most awesome leather products and their cuffs are especially lovely. They’ve got other pretty cool fetish gear if you’re into that.

Bcurious rechargeable vibrator
There are so many of these palm vibes on the market, but I like the look of this one. More importantly, I like the feel of it. Bcurious by BSwish is made of that delicious peachskin-type silicone I love. And one of its seven functions actually makes grown women giggle and their eyes widen when they feel it knock-knock-purrrr on their hip bones (where you hold a vibe when you’re testing it out in a store). So you can imagine what it will do for your clit. It’s my next must-have. This rechargeable waterproof massager will titillate in the bath or out.
More info...

Nookii board game
Apparently one of the most popular adult games in Australia and a bestseller in the UK, Nookii as a board game without a board. You and your beau move around each other according to the playful directions on the Nookii cards. There are a set of suggestions for him and her and sauciness levels range from Mmm to Ooh to Aah. Contents include 90 cards, a timer, two dice, a sheer scarf and a ‘do not disturb’ door sign.
Let the games begin...

Cock ring & vibe
I’m a fan of cock ring / vibe combos. Keep him harder for longer while your clit gets a lovely hummm.
Think basic cock ring, with a small extension that rubs your clit with every thrust. The Screaming O is an international fave, the Bunny Enhancer cock ring is a novel ‘ring meets a mini The Rabbit’ and I’m all about the very lovely Muvee vibrating cock ring by Feelz Toys, which is longer lasting and of better quality than the other two (and quite fun whichever way you face the vibe).

Kama Sutra dice
I love these so much. Who needs a book when you can roll with the sutras, baby. Check it out... (Plums, this is the only online info I could find for it, though Marina from Whet assures me they'll have in stock.)

So there it is lovely bunnies, Dot's Delights. Feel free to buy me any of these goodies as a token of goodwill. Failing that, tickle your lover's fancy and let me know how it goes. All of these products are available through one or more of the following retail and online outlets:

Cape Town
Whet Sensuality Emporium
 021 424 9240

The Bedroom
031 765 8633

Lola Montez
0861 565 266

Read Dot's blog here.

Follow her on Twitter here.