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And then there are the ads behind which there is a whole story: disastrous bridesmaids’ dresses, someone selling an ornamental ukulele, or dinosaur bones.
Then you find the disastrous – and sometimes extremely funny spellers (such as the Double Bad for sale earlier this year).
Some photos also make you sit up.
Clearly people don’t always look at their ads and how dreadful their offerings look.
Some people just overprice their goods, or try and downplay serious damage.
And my favourite – goods that you cannot imagine in a million years that someone would wake up in the morning and think "Today is the day I am going to find myself a fossilised fern or an old basket with plastic veggies.
I just feel lucky this morning."
Anyone for a coffin?
Blanket box? I think not. This looks far more like something you’ll be buried in one day. And the ad says ‘for all your extras’ – maybe an inconvenient body or two you need to dispose of? In times gone by people used to store their coffins in the attic and this one looks as if it belongs there. If anyone invited me into their bedroom and they had one of these at the foot of the bed, I would make a quick getaway. Very quick.
See the ad here
Bridesmaid’s dress disaster
OK, not only have these never been worn (was there no wedding or did they buy other dresses?), but the one on the left is different in colour to the others. If one bride didn’t want these, why would someone else? Unless you only had three bridesmaids, I guess. (And the ‘massive loss’ to the wedding budget of R3000 in total? Anyone who has recently organised a wedding will know that R3000 won’t even make a blip on the screen). But if these speak to you, you might get them on the cheap. Oh, and these bridesmaids have no heads either.
See ad here
Anyone for a ukulele?
It took me a while to figure out that the photograph spelled ‘ukulele’ and I presume is not of the product for sale. This doesn’t look like anything that can be played. Guys, people want to see what they are buying. Show us the tiger’s eyes! There might be millions of ukulele enthusiasts out there, but this ad won’t speak to them.
See ad here
A strong-arm DJ
I don’t get this at all. This is a pic of a bulldozer that has fallen over, but it is supposed to advertise a DJ’s services for functions and shows. But, why, oh why is it classified under farming equipment? And why this pic? Next time you’re looking for a DJ, remember to look under the heading ‘Farm vehicles and equipment’. You’re sure to find something unusual there. Yeah, right.
See ad here
Inedible veggies
These do look a bit mouldy and past their prime, but they were never for eating. Can you think of any situation in which you would need a single basket of plastic display vegetables which are so clearly past their prime?
See ad here
A five-birth caravan
Here’s what you need if you are pregnant with quintuplets. A five-birth caravan. (‘Berth’, guys, ‘berth’). Amazing what a difference one letter can make. I won’t say anything about that shade of green that fortunately died with the seventies.
See ad here
Just what an exercise bike is for
The exercise bike in your lounge is great for hanging clothes on – and as the ad says, great for ‘stareres’. I could stare at mine all day. Great for ‘starting’, perhaps? All you bike starers out there – don’t miss this opportunity.
See ad here
I am having a dinosaur day
This is weird beyond perception. Shouldn’t these things be in a museum somewhere and not in some arb person’s lounge? What does one do with the fossilised remains of a dinosaur tooth or a fragment of a mammoth tusk? Who buys this stuff? And where does the seller get it? (Can’t pay the rent this month – the dinosaur tooth will have to go).
See ad here
Dresses for the dog
I think people who put their dogs in dresses need serious help. Come on, guys. It’s a dog. It isn’t cold, because the ad is from someone in Durban, so really there is no excuse. There’s a reason why there isn’t a pic here of a doggie wearing one of these outfits. Not only do they look ridiculous, but they are mightily p*ssed off and just don’t smile for the camera. Put your dog in one of these and you actually deserve to be nipped.
See ad here
