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The 10 weirdest things today on Gumtree/OLX

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To be sure, there are amazing bargains, which cost a fraction of what you would pay for the same items if you went to the nearest shopping centre.

But then there are also the ads that are weird, wonderful, sad, and downright jaw-dropping.

And then, the weird photos, the overoptimistic sellers and the bad spellers.

Five gold stars to you if you can decipher this ad first time around:

Hi ther I have a scooter 2011 model its in rung condisen I wood lik to swop it for a beach buggy that is drivng it dasent haf to have papers as long as it rids I dount warie if the body and floor nieds work I ll fieks it my self my scooter has papers and its in evrie day us pls contak me or wats upp me if u have 1 and u wane get rid of it its urgent.

Here are some of the ads that made me chuckle (for whatever reason):



Just pretend I am not there. Psst! 
Wanna buy some curtains?

Did this guy look at the picture before he posted it? I just love ads with the presumably unintentional shadows of the photographers in them. Why not just stand on the other side so the shadow falls behind you?

See ad here

Are you having a dinosaur day?


Just what you need to complete your existence: a life-size dimetrodon. A snip at R10 000. What are you waiting for? (Who on earth sells life-size mechanical dinosaurs? And even more worrying: who buys them and what on earth for?)

See ad here

Wedding dress guaranteed to make you look fat


What the hell? This must be the worst design for someone who is carrying a few extra pounds. The tight waist, the frills round the bottom of the ridiculously flared skirt and that funny little bolero jacket. No, no, no. Just don’t go down this road, or aisle. And by the way, if no one noticed, the person in the picture is also decapitated.

See ad here

Have you lost your tombstone?

This ad for tombstones is listed under ‘Lost and Found’. So if you have mislaid your tombstone, you have come to the right place. Also remember where to advertise should you come across some tombstone that has become separated from its owner.

See ad here

You light up my life

A mosaic (nogal) female torso that is also a lamp. But take a look -  just where does the light shine from?  This is creepy. If I saw this in someone’s house, I would check the exits.

See ad here

Beside yourself

This ‘beside’ table is also ‘distressed’. Doesn't sound like something you would want in your bedroom, which is supposed to be a place of calm.

See ad here

Solid wood suit of armour


Tell me you woke up this morning thinking today is the day you were going to find that perfect suit of armour for everyday use. But it’s going to cost you! What on earth could this possibly be used for? It’s too big for a school play, and too uncomfortable for a fancy dress.

See ad here
Unworn wedding dress

There’s a sad story behind unworn wedding dresses. Even if the person in question might have had a lucky escape, it’s still sad that things went that far that the dress was bought, and no doubt also a fortune spent on other wedding preparations. Call me superstitious, but I would feel one is taunting the bad-luck fairy by buying this one.

See ad here

The ultimate ironing experience

It may come with all the bells and whistles, but hey, it’s still just an iron. I don’t like the so-called ‘ironing experience’ at the best of times – certainly not if it costs me R20 000

See ad here

A warthog with a beady eye 

Yes, it’s looking at you. I can’t quite see the attraction here. It looks a bit mangy, certainly peeved (who wouldn't if the last thing you saw was some guy pointing a gun at you?) and who would want to hang a warthog head on the wall?

See ad here

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