Four Seasons, New York City

The Big Apple, more like the expensive apple. Renting property in NY is basically Cape Town rental amped up to 100, so you can imagine how expensive the Four Seasons Ty Warner Penthouse is. Well, you can stop imagining. It’s over R543 000 a night.

Emirates Palace, Abu Dhabi

Straight to the price - R133 370 for the full Emirates experience, why? For the albino caviar of course, but standard rooms start at $300 (R3 596.22) so you might still just have a chance to take a selfie with the exclusive guest’s private butler.

Grand Hyatt, Cannes

I now know that it’s not about your bed, or the mint on your pillow, but about the view. So how much does one pay for a view of the Bay of Cannes and the Mediterranean Sea? Over R623 000.  To be fair, they also offer an abundance of possibilities; not sure what that is, but they offer it.

Aman, Tokyo

Truly cosmopolitan, humming intersections alongside quaint lanes, intrinsically Japanese, convivial yakitori-ya - I have no idea what any of that website talk means but it will cost you more than R19 000 a night.

Four ?? #tokyo #amantokyo

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Hotel President Wilson, Geneva

Located in the renowned Rue du Rhone (this name sounds expensive), a decent stay at this hotel will cost you R28 158. But it’s totally worth it because it includes complimentary Wi-Fi and a Luxury Collection Concierge will fulfill your wishes even before you express them. Now, that’s impressive.

Belmond Grand Hotel Timeo, Taormina, Italy

Our insanely beautiful hotel #belmondgrandhoteltimeo

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This place meets the expectations of the most discriminating guests, if that’s not worth R21 713 and over then I don’t know what is.

The Raj Palace, India

This was an actual palace in the 1700s and everything about this real life jewelry box is filled with incredible little gems. A Maharaja experience will cost you around R530 597. The website needs some work, but if the pictures are anything to go by, this experience is worth some school fees money.

Presidential Suite, Mandarin Oriental Pudong, Shanghai

A good bathroom at a hotel is about as essential as breathing. This Shanghai Presidential Suite has one of the city’s best bathrooms and it will cost you roughly R303 000.

Hotel Cala di Volpe, Italy

The ever-changing blues of sky and sea, the traditional Sardinian workmanship and exclusive ambiance will cost you R186,888. But this five star room sleeps 9, so you can split the bill.

Lover’s Deep, St. Lucia

This is not your typical hotel, it’s actually a submarine. Talk about futuristic. A luxurious sub equipped with your own personal crew, along with other good things (which seems a little vague to me) for R1 811 332.