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Scilla, 44, is a bank manager in Cape Town. She was married for 20 years.
"Dating after 20 years of marriage comes as a shock, but once you've tried it, it's pretty easy to work your way around the obstacles.
"My advice to anyone starting in the dating game the second time around is to make over your clothes, hair and body – go to gym and work out – so that when you face your date you are confident about looking and feeling your best. I asked a professional wardrobe consultant for advice so that when I got dressed to go out I felt good about how I looked.
"I started with a dating service where I paid a fee and they arranged for an equal number of women and men to meet at a restaurant for dinner. Although I enjoyed that, I prefer to meet people face to face before going on a date with them.
I met a nice guy through a friend. We'd gone out to a pub together and he noticed me and asked my friend for my number. He phoned me and we arranged to go out. On our first date I wore a great pair of jeans and a turquoise jersey – part of my wardrobe revamp – and he took me to what was the first of many restaurants we went to together.
"We had a lot in common and the conversation flowed. After being with my ex-husband for 20 years, I knew what he was thinking most of the time and our conversations tended to be quite predictable. On the date I found myself having to work to discover my date's interests and having all kinds of surprising discussions on various topics.
"Although I prefer personal introductions, I decided to take the drastic (for me) step of internet dating after seeing a friend get plenty of new dates this way. I joined datingbuzz.co.za.
What an adventure! In the first week I became hooked on the email responses. You log on under a pseudonym and list all your requirements, and matching single men contact you via the site... or you contact them. Some of the dates I got this way were good and some were a waste of time and effort.
"I think my next venture will be FASTdate, which is a five minute face-to-face meeting where you pose 20 questions to about 15 'prospects' at an arranged event. The bottom line is: I'm having a lot of fun!"
Do you have any tips for older women who want to date? Or tell us your story in our comment box below.
