What's friendly vs flirty? Honestly, much of what takes place when people flirt is intentionally subtle and difficult to decode.
Nobody enjoys getting rejected.
She says that a woman trying to flirt with another woman can get really tough because women are programmed to be polite to each other.
In her tweet, she wrote:
“As a bisexual woman, I still cannot tell if another woman is flirting with me or just being nice."
Admitting that "on the same note I have no idea how to convey to a woman I’m not just being nice, I’m flirting with you. Like yes I think you are pretty and your shoes are hot but also kiss me?”
As a bisexual woman, I still cannot tell if another woman is flirting with me or just being nice, on that same note I have no idea how to convey to a woman I’m not just being nice, I’m flirting with you. Like yes I think you’re pretty and your shoes are hot but also kiss me?— Trouble (@gilltheamazon) January 9, 2019
She went on to explain that the reason she can’t tell if a woman is flirting with her is because, “It’s our culture to complement each other in bars, at parties literally everywhere,” she said.
And also noted that women are naturally kind to each other whereas heterosexual men don’t normally complement a woman’s earrings just for fun.
“I’m pansexual and I feel this on a core level ??”— @ThePeachyBot tweeted.
Another Twitter user agreed saying: "It's very frustrating being a girl and trying to flirt with other girls".
The post has been retweeted more 5 000 times and attracted around 23 000 likes, with an overwhelming number of comments.
So how do you know if someone is flirting with you or just trying to make a new best friend?
Queer women shared their personal stories and tips.
“One time I told a girl her eyes were pretty and she was like: thanks love! Your makeup is cute!’ and she walked away before I could ask for her number,” one Twitter user wrote.
Another said: “Yep I feel you 110%... there is this cute girl I know and feel like there is something more behind the compliments we give each other, than the ones we give to other female friends. And I can see it in her eyes but I’m too scared of her being grossed out if I become more flirty".
Other bisexual, pansexual and lesbian women chimed in, and offered her advice on how to decode flirtation.
If asked an either / or question, casually dropping "I'm bi, so both" into a convo has worked for me in the past, at least according to my wife. :)— K.C. Littleton (@kc_littleton) January 10, 2019
“In my experience, the eyes will tell you! There’s something about someone attracted to you, they’ll maintain eye contact a little bit longer than usual,” one comment read.
In my experience, the eyes will tell you! There’s something about someone that’s attracted to you, they’ll maintain eye contact a little bit longer than usual. & be direct! Confidence is sexy af. If you’re feeling someone let them know, the worst they can say is no :)— It’s 21 Savagiooosa, Not 21 Savagiosaaa (@WitYoLo_okinAss) January 10, 2019
Another added, “I swear its eye contact. From a pansexual woman.”
Lolz yea I have a direct approach with women, I let them know I’m shooting my shot and so don’t wanna be friends— NefertitEE ?? (@Naysha080) January 9, 2019
While another said, “lolz yea I have a direct approach with women, I let them know I’m shooting my shot and so don’t wanna be friends”.
Tell people you're interested.— Conscious or C. | New York Creative ? (@Conscious) January 9, 2019
I swear it’s eye contact. From a pansexual woman— Tammeh (@formerlyMrsNBA) January 10, 2019
One commenter advised her to be direct because she won't go anywhere by dropping hints.
You can dial it back and get a phone number or Snapchat or something but you won’t get what you want by dropping hints ??????— Pharaohcious (@YourPalBigAl) January 9, 2019
According to award-winning writer and TEDx speaker Jill Sherer Murray, who studies relationships and self-growth, the way the person steers the conversation will set the tone between friendliness and flirtatiousness.
“People who are flirting don’t limit their conversations to the weather,” she told Bustle.
She explains that once the topic of sex, playfully enters the equation, it’s a clear crossing of the line from friendly to flirty.
"Sex rarely comes up in friendly conversation,” she says.
Are you bisexual and struggle to flirt with other women? We'd love to hear your story. Chat to us here.
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