While couples are obsessing about going on romantic getaways or setting up romantic lunches or dinner dates, some singletons are sadly lonely, remembering how they were ditched on this day.
Cape Town-based dating coach and professional matchmaker Shannon Davidoff shares tips and encouragement for those who are single or have been hurt.
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Davidoff says being dumped on Valentine’s Day is common, painful and devastating, but one needs to stop thinking about it.
“Maybe that person dumped you because they knew they were not able to commit or led you on with false expectations. You actually had a lucky escape and maybe it could have been much worse,” she says.
She says the lesson learnt is to be careful who you choose to invest your heart in.
“Just like all players with evil agendas, promises of holidays and, best of all, a celebration of Valentine’s Day that promises to make your head spin was never going to happen.”
Davidoff says maybe the person got what they wanted already and was off to the next victim.
“If someone truly has good intentions, there are ways to be sure. One of them is to know who you are hanging out with, get some background and, even better, with a date coach protecting you, get an expert opinion – us date coaches see and hear the most terrible stories.”
At her practice, Perfect Partners, they had a lady whose lover promised her a perfect picture. He promised a dream home for their love nest, sent pictures, a copy of the deed of the sale, emails of the estate agent confirming it was a cash purchase of a few million rand and was a done deal. “They chatted excitedly about the bright future they would share.”
“As he was, supposedly, on a business trip abroad and had transferred the funds to the agents, EFT provided, that would take a few days, he asked her to pay the cash deposit of R500 000 so they did not lose the sale, and he would refund her when he is back.”
The lady never heard anything from him after transferring money, and this was a financial loss for her, nobody could trace emails, agents or him.
“Being in the drug-high of love actually dulls our senses and makes us fools,” Davidoff says, adding one must listen to their gut.
“When a woman is intimate with a man, she sees it as the total gift of commitment, she has let him into her sacred garden. Men do not see it like that unless he had to work hard for the gift. If the intimacy is not an expression of undying love, it is just another sport,” she explains.
Davidoff advises those who are single to remember to love themselves for someone else to love them.
“You are unique, a fabulous person who deserves the best, so why not treat you to a very special day? We all need to love ourselves anyway before we can love another.” One’s good energy will turn into a love magnet and the positive vibe will be irresistible. She says people must treat themselves, have a great day and manifest that next year this time they will be with their forever-after.
