Before you ask yourself why I would go around scheduling three dates in one day, here's a little back story or should I say, a timeline of my dating history.
A while back (about eight months or so) my live-in boyfriend of two years and I split after he landed a job abroad. While I'd love to say I was happy for him, the exact opposite was true.
See, hailing from a humble background - or what I like to call ghetto - all the way from the south, I wasn't exactly keen to go back and devise another plan to escape, and I blamed him and his wanderlust for thrusting me back into the deep end.
That sounds quite selfish, doesn't it? Well it was... except, I didn't come to that conclusion up until much recently.
Anyway, my bitterness toward the situation resulted in me looking for anything - well in this case, anyone - to latch on to. And so there I was, in a new relationship barely a month after my ex boyfriend had left to go and live his dreams.
While the distraction of having someone new had somewhat served its purpose, I found myself constantly comparing Mr New Guy to Mr Old Guy and, you've probably guessed that it was a disaster.
Although I'm not completely to blame, he wasn't at all the ideal partner. Needless to say, the relationship didn't make it.
After about three months of me begging him to take me more seriously (perhaps become obsessed with me so that I didn't feel like I wasn't good enough for my ex who just left me), we decided to end things.
Well, my friend ended things on my behalf, but that's a chat for a different day.
Fast forward a few months later and finally I'm done hunting down another relationship, and would much rather like to have a little (safe and responsible) fun, so I decided to once again put myself out there.
And what's better than our favourite dating app, Tinder, to get me out there?
So I joined Tinder, uploaded a few selfies, wrote a funny yet alluring bio and waited for the swipes, and boy did the swipes come. Not to toot my own horn, but I had options.
Soon, I found myself with a small group of potential baes with who I decided I could actually have a decent conversation with. Let's call them bachelors one - five.
The way my mind is set up about safety and security, I decided it best to first get to know each of them before things went too far, and as expected, two of them were blocked before their names in my contact list became familiar with their surroundings.
And so there were three...
All of whom I saw potential for a (light) future with. Soon, requests for dates came in, but not without issues of my own. Firstly, I stay really far from 'civilisation'. That means I have a strict curfew (because, public transport).
Secondly, I don't have money lying around to travel to and from different destinations for dates.
That's when I got the bright idea to schedule all three dates on the same day. My friends warned me against this for a number of reasons, but I could see no flaw in the plan.
I'd be required to go to one public space and have all three of my suitors meet me there. Simple enough.
I chose Maboneng - here's how it went.
Bachelor number one: the breakfast date
So he arrives late, and that's the first no from me. But as he arrives, I notice he is pleasantly tall and he smells good - positive.
As the date progresses however, I realise he speaks about himself way too much. The entire conversation saw me fighting to get a word in. Usually I don't mind, but knowing I have two other dates to consider, I am obviously paying extra attention to detail.
Soon it's all over and bachelor number one reaches for a kiss on my lips. Instinctively I move away. I could tell he wasn't impressed, but neither was I.
Way too much for a casual date, don't you think?
While I haven't completely ruled him out, I don't think we'll be having another date.
Enter bachelor number two: Mr no weaves please
So I arranged that my second date arrive at least an hour after my first date left. That way, I get time to digest my food (which I had been barely touching in order to avoid getting bloated) and also touch up my makeup.
Seated at a completely different restaurant at the bustling venue, walking towards me is a hunk of a man.
While I wasn't completely impressed by his dress sense, he had a certain air of seriousness about him that I really enjoyed for some reason.
However, a while into lunch, my heart eyes were replaced with annoyance as I listened to him go on and on about how he appreciates girls who wear minimal makeup and rock natural hair, as I sit there with my full face beat and 32-inch wig.
You guessed it; it was a whole lot of "boy, bye" from me. We never spoke again.
Last but not least, bachelor number three: Sterling silver Beemer
Can you tell by this title that this man was flashier than the camera on the new Huawei?
Because he was.
He rocked up to our dinner date which I had chosen to be at a well lit restaurant just a few doors away from where my lunch date was, in a suit complete with a tie and all.
And no I'm not complaining. I did have a bit of a concern about his height, though, as he was on the shortish side.
Honestly this was probably the best date of the day. While he seemed a little too focused on his business and TWO kids, he kept me entertained pretty much the entire evening.
Thereafter, he took me all the way home - something he insisted on doing after completely convincing me he wasn't a murderer. A lovely gesture.
What I learnt..
First thing I learnt is that, it's completely okay to go on multiple dates when you aren't in a committed relationship. This way, you get to see exactly what you want because you can compare options.
The second thing is that regardless of how much money someone has spent on you, whether it be sending you flowers or taking you out on dates, they are not entitled to sympathy or gratitude in the form of a kiss or your romantic interest in them.
I also learnt that there are literally a million people out there that you can get to know. No one person is worth wailing over for months on end.
And lastly, I found out that going on dates is actually fun, provided they are safe and in the company of decent people. My advice is; don't hold yourself back from doing things other people may consider "wild".
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