Publications
Partners
I’m just going to say it; I’m a sucker for a good nude pic. Whether it’s the thrill of receiving one or the thrill of sending one – if there’s a boob photo op, I’m taking it.
If you asked me a year ago whether I thought there are perks to the otherwise frowned upon exchange of peaches and eggplants, I’d probably be blushing on behalf of the person who mentioned it.
But ever since I tricked my mind into trusting my clumsy heart into saying yes to a long distance relationship, sexting has become a big part of my life.
Well that, and talking on the phone.
Not Whatsapp, I mean old school phone to ear stuff – Gasp! Shock! Horror. I know.
Read more: 17 truths about dating in 2016 that will make you laugh and kind of cry
It’s generally accepted that men are more likely to get “something out” of sexting, hence the endless stream of dick pics just casually roaming about in several DMs, which usually results in a left swipe.
But I really appreciate a nude - and I know of countless women who feel the same - IF it's coming from a committed relationship where trust is a given.
If anything, I’m more keen on sending and receiving nudes than my British other.
Sexting is the equivalent of a saucy affair, and no, I’m not condoning affairs. I just needed a relatable metaphor. There’s a kind of riskiness involved.
What if someone sees? Am I allowed to speak openly about how I spend most nights with my bedroom light and camera angles? What if I accidentally send a broadcast of my nipple to my family and friends?
I know someone that did that, and OH MY GOD. Try explaining that to your 14-year-old brother and, well, everyone else.
Yes, sexting is not exactly something they have TEDTalks about, and most of the time the general reaction is, don’t do it! But, because human beings are just general “shrug your shoulders, what’s the worst that can happen?” type of people, someone is bound to send a dick pic or nip slip.
How many someones? One in five people have done the cyber-flashing deed. Well, according to Pew Research 34% of millennials, aged 25 to 34, and 22% of adults aged 35 to 44.
Read more: This is why you need to stop texting him
With all the risks involved, I can understand the hesitation (remember the iCloud saga of 2014?). And let’s not forget the dregs of society who contribute to the endless revenge porn on the interwebs. Another reason why we can’t have nice things.
But in my one-year and a bit long distance relationship, nudes are a big part of us and they are amazing!
I can’t force you to take one, and I’m not necessarily telling you to give in when Mr from that one night of grinding at the club asks for a pic.
But I am here to share some perks of exchanging steamy texts and snaps to those that are open to it:
It opens up another communication channel
Sex fantasies get to be explored and everything is out in the open. You get to talk about what gets you tingling and what makes you squint your face.
It welcomes a chance for you to describe your ultimate bedroom vixen desires. By voicing out specific details you build sexual comfort within the relationship.
It adds Aromat to your sex life
If you’re looking for a little sneaky flavour in and out of the sheets then why not this? Sexting is an extension of foreplay and builds the sexy tension of what’s to come when the two of you see each other again.
It’s the starter to a potentially satisfying main course.
It builds trust
This is why who you send your cheeky peaches to is important. Sexting is a form of sex. And like any sex act there needs to be a level of trust involved along with discretion.
I mean what are the chances you would try something new with someone shifty? Hopefully zero!
And lastly, easily the most important, it gives you confidence
I started loving my body when I started playing around with my selfie cam and the overwhelming sexiness that grows with each click is empowering.
I’m not speaking for most (actually for any women) out there, but for me, being able to deal with my body and feel brave enough to press that send button is a feeling that has made me feel content with the body I have. And the endless compliments from the receiver are just an emphasis on what my body is – sexy AF!
Nude etiquette: How to keep it classy, tits and all?
1. If you are a little shy then avoid showing your face. Keep it mysterious so nothing in the photo can lead back to you.
2. You don’t have to go all the way. A good nude doesn’t necessarily mean you have to expose all the goods all at once. The milkshakes don’t have to be fully out there to bring the boys to the yard.
3. If, like me, you are little agitated when it comes to technology delete as you send and receive. And if, for any reason, the snap or video is too steamy to trash then treat it like your porn; store it on your computer under a random university course.
4. Don’t be too thirsty (unless you and your other are about that life). Maintain balance - nudes are a give and take relationship. Demand does not lead to supply.
Read more:
Is online infidelity as bad as real-life cheating? We explore cyber infidelity
5 reasons why millennials struggle with relationships
