To catch up on the series, read Love, sex, drama and self-discovery: The escapades of Violet Online.

We are all different, but these are the main qualities I look for in a man:

Wears a kikoi.

Knows his whisky.

And his jazz.

Has stubble.

Fries a perfect egg.

Bathes.

Dives headfirst into rivers.

Dives naked headfirst into rivers.

Never farts in public.

Or tells racist jokes.

Calls you darling.
But never babe.

Knows your shoe size.

Walks his dogs.
And yours.

Goes to gym.
But never talks about it.

Is often silent.

Can sharpen a knife.

And shoot straight.

Wears flannel shirts.

Buys you French underwear.
And orders French champagne.

Can make a fire anywhere.

Gardens in the nude.

Phones his mother.

Uses punctuation.

Never texts in capitals.

Has hard strong upper arms.

Sometimes smells of sweat.
Sometimes smells of gun oil.

Wears aftershave.
Even if he doesn’t shave.

Gives you antique jewellery.
And art.

Drives a man car.
One you can haul firewood in.

Chops the firewood.

Has scars on his hands.
But well kept nails.
And clean feet.

Wears a good watch.
And no other jewellery.

Tips well.

Is always polite to waiters.

Smokes the occasional cigar.
But never cigarettes.

Often runs your bath.

Gets in with you.
And soaps your back.

Cycles to work.

Recycles.

Moisturises.

Looks good in a suit.

Throws a flyline.

Laughs uproariously.

Winds the windows down on a road trip.

And is self sufficient in every single way.
Until it comes to you.

What are yours? Let us know.

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