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Cancelled or not, the law has something to say about Babes Wodumo reuniting with Mampintsha

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Babes and Mampintsha have reportedly reconciled
Babes and Mampintsha have reportedly reconciled

The video, which was reportedly recorded on Instagram's live video feature, resulted in a public outcry for Mandla 'Mampintsha' Maphumulo to be incarcerated.

Many local celebrities such as Boity Thulo and Natasha Thahane posting on their social media pages in support of the then estranged Babes.

Babes similarly posted on her social media pages about the ordeal, and even uploaded a picture of herself next to the then 23-year-old Karabo Mokoena who was tragically murdered by her abusive boyfriend Sandile Montsoe in 2017.

READ MORE: Here's what we know about femicide in SA - numbers may be decreasing but the reality is still very grim

The tribute image was captioned, "I could've been next".

Babes also reportedly laid charges against Mampintsha who in turn laid charges against her, for allegedly attacking him.

Both cases were highly publicised and subsequently saw Mampintsha for the second time in this six-year long relationship issuing an apology letter to Babes and his fans.

Soon thereafter there was more controversy around the estranged couple after Mampintsha released a song featuring the words he was heard saying in the abuse video a few weeks earlier titled "‘Khona iy’ngane lay’ndlini" which loosely translates to "there are children in this house".

READ MORE: After Babes Wodumo captures Mampintsha assaulting her, two women share why they continued to stay with their abusers

The very distasteful song features Babes, DJ Tira and Campmaster.

While at the time of the release, there were many speculations whether or not Babes and Mampintsha decided to reconcile, it has now been confirmed by his long-term manager Lindo Buthelezi.

Babes has also allegedly posted videos of herself and Mampintsha to her Instagram stories, much to the dismay of her loyal fans, who are now calling for her to be cancelled.

Many of them are questioning whether or not the assault video was a publicity stunt while others are declaring that they will no longer be listening to the self proclaimed queen of gqom's music or cries for help.

Read some of their tweets below.

READ MORE: Babes Wodumo – why the narrative of abuse survivors doesn’t belong to us

This user writes "Cancelling Mampintsha, Babes Wodumo and DJ Tira in that order".

While this person says "Babes Wodumo will one day need help from South Africans and no one will be willing to help because of her actions"

Other Twitter users touch on the psychological effects being abused has on a person and subsequently call on others to bear that in mind before they "cancel" or blame Babes for taking Mmapintsha back. 

Many of her fans are asking the question why she went back to what was being cast as an abusive relationship. 

According to Break the Silence against Domestic Violence, women generally return to their abusers seven times before they leave for good.

It really is not that easy as highlighted in this article in The Conversation, written by Daniel G. Saunders, a professor emeritus of social work at the University of Michigan.

He says: "Not surprisingly, lack of material resources, such as not having a job or having limited income, is a strong factor. Lack of support – and even blame – from family, friends and professionals can add to the sense of helplessness caused by the abuse.

READ MORE: "Get out or die" - meet the woman who travels around the world to help victims of domestic abuse

"Then there is often the constant fear, based in reality, that abuse and stalking will continue or escalate after leaving. The risk of homicide, for example, increases for a period of time after a woman leaves her abusive partner."

But what does the law say about the reconciliation?

The couple have also been referred to FAMSA for mediation after appearing in Pinetown court together on 15 May 2019.

According to Lisa Vetten, a counselor, para-legal and gender specialist on violence against woman, if Babes is willingly dropping the charges against Mampintsha the court might comply, especially since the couple have agreed to the mediation.

"This depends mostly on the nature of the order from the magistrate. I'd imagine the court is taking this case a little more seriously than any other because this one was under a lot of scrutiny.

"The usual protocol before ordering a couple to undergo mediation involves investigating thoroughly whether or not the victim was coerced by the abusive partner to withdraw charges.

"If this is not the case, the magistrate will therefore decide whether or not mediation is the appropriate solution," she says.

READ MORE: Why do women stay in abusive relationships?

Lisa adds that: "Since the two have been ordered to attend mediation, it means that the magistrate did have reason to believe the couple were capable of reconciliation and will therefore comply with Babe's decision to drop the charges and subsequently drop all charges against Mampintsha."

She concludes that she feels South Africa can better handle domestic violence cases such as this one.

"We need a broader range of ways to help victims besides only being able to press charges because most women don't want to resort to sending their abusive partner to jail. A more holistic approach in my opinion will more significantly improve the way domestic violence is dealt with in S.A.

"For instance, providing employment for victims dependant on their abusive partners or homes for victims who have no where else to go and subsequently end up going back to their abuser," says Lisa.

We also spoke to Claire Penfold, the lead facilitator at FAMSA's divorce and family mediation training center, she shares the following advice for family members of abuse victims and how to help them when they've chosen to go back to their abuser.

READ MORE: Help for survivors of gender-based violence is now just the touch of a screen away

"Family members should stay supportive throughout the relationship - whether or not they've warned the person not to go back to the abuser. 

"Often victims of abuse have a past history with the abuser which tends to cloud their judgment and as a result end up going back to the abuser. This is a psychological issue that stops the person from thinking logically.

"Which is why the best thing for loved ones to do is keep on supporting and validating the victim who more often than not, feels like they are not worth anything," says Claire.

She also advises family members contact organisations like POWA, which educate both the victims and their family members on how to deal with abuse and what to do in these circumstances.

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