Does lockdown have your partner feeling more like a sibling? 10 tips to reignite your fading romance
The world acquires a sheen of magic, and we get lost in our lover's eyes. It's hard to imagine not ever being in love.
Fast forward to a year, five years or ten years later, and the spark is barely visible. Add a lengthy coronavirus lockdown to the mix and romance if just a word in the dictionary.
The lover who we once swooned over now feels more like a sibling whose perpetual bad habits of leaving wet towels on the bathroom floor leave us feeling irritable and resentful. Or perhaps the familiarity of the routines that have become embedded in the relationship have made it feel stale and old.
Something switches off. We become complacent and comfortable, and we start spending all our nights watching Netflix together or separately. Sex becomes a task that is dutifully performed on rare occasions.
The passion we once felt has disappeared, and we yearn for the romance that felt like magic once upon a time.If this sounds like your relationship, the good news is that there are numerous ways of rekindling romance and passion.
Here are ten tips to reignite the spark:
1 - Foster emotional intimacy
Studies have shown that physical intimacy and passion in a relationship stem from emotional connection. Make sure that you are consistently communicating and sharing with your partner. Invest your time and energy in meeting your partner's emotional needs and show your partner kindness and respect.
2 - Spark excitement with new activities and experiences
In many relationships, one of the main reasons passion dies is familiarity. A sense of newness fuels passion, and by engaging in new, exciting, or unusual experiences with our partners, we can tap into the novelty that we experienced at the beginning of the relationship. Be creative - do a craft project together, take your 6 am - 9 am walks together, or have a cooking showdown.
3 - Create space in the relationship by spending time apart without feeling resentful
When we spend all our time with one person, we start to feel claustrophobic. We must have closeness as well as space in a relationship. Nurturing friendships outside of our romantic relationships enables us to become more independent and leaves room for longing and missing. So it's essential to stay in touch with friends and family and don't make every call with family a team effort. Foster your friendships.
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4 - Go on lockdown dates regularly and take turns coming up with ideas for this
At the beginning of a relationship, there is nothing more exciting than going on a date with your partner. The ritual of going on a date does not have to stop once you are in lockdown. Creating a date-like mood in your home can reignite feelings of excitement and desire. This mimicry of the beginning of the relationship and life before lockdown will help to stir something in you that you may have forgotten along the way.
5 - Go on a lockdown holiday in your own home
Stepping outside of routine and the mundanity of day to day living is a wonderful way to reconnect with your partner. Spend the night in a different room or go camping for a night in your garden - anything outside the ordinary can feel like a holiday in this challenging time of coronavirus.
6 - Express your gratitude to your partner
Everyone wants to be appreciated and acknowledged. Focus on all the things your partner is doing right, rather than the things they are doing wrong. Voicing your gratitude creates warmth and closeness, and with just a few words, can bring your partner closer to you. Once there is a feeling of closeness, it's much easier to find desire again.
7 - Take care of yourself
It's very easy to slip into a comfort zone with partners, and often we start to become lazy with grooming and self-care. Surprise your partner by throwing out those old comfortable pajamas and stepping into something that shows the curves of your body on a random day when they least expect it. Feel attractive around your partner again by making an effort with your appearance. Your partner will start to pick this up and respond to it.
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8 - Flirt with and surprise your partner
Flirting with your partner can remind you of the romantic feelings you had when you were courting each other. Reintroduce an element of mystery and surprise with small gestures such as surprising your partner with a candlelit dinner at home, a hand-made gift, or offering to help them complete tasks.
9 - Find novelty in the bedroom
When sex has become a task rather than something you enjoy, you need to shake it up and find new ways of expressing your sexuality. This might mean letting go and being more adventurous in the bedroom. It might mean wearing lingerie, role playing, or enlisting the use of toys.
10 - Play
What is the point of any relationship without an element of fun? If you find the relationship feels somber and serious, try to reintroduce light-heartedness by partaking in fun, light activities. Share funny stories and laugh.