We constantly hear of women who share in relationship show segments or writing threads on Twitter about how they found out that their loving boyfriend is actually married.
It’s come to a point where ‘Dating a married man’ is searched 66 000 times on Google, followed by 64 800 yearly Google searches for ‘In love with a married man’.
Makabelo Motaung, an experienced social and dating coach, motivational speaker and relationship expert, shares five signs that could mean that your significant other is actually already married.
1. Limited availability
It’s a major red flag if he answers your call whispering that he can’t talk and then immediately drops the call; or he’s only available to talk or see you at odd hours. The same goes for when he immediately rejects a call before you can see who it is. Married men will often talk to you when their wives are away and vanish when she returns.
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2. He never invites you over
If the guy always has an excuse as to why he can’t invite you to his place, know that something’s up. His reluctance could be because his wife and family are at home and you’ll see the evidence of his other life.
3. You only meet a few friends (or none at all)
If this has happened to you, then either your boyfriend doesn’t view you as serious dating material or he’s most probably married. He doesn’t want his friends to know that he’s cheating on his wife.
4. He never spends holidays or special events with you
During the holidays or special events, married men are hardly free to mingle because getting away from their wives and family won’t be so easy. Also, it’s easier for him to make up excuses to give his side chick than his wife.
5. The wedding band line
If the wedding band line is very indented on his finger but he’s never mentioned marriage, then he is definitely married. The wedding ring is a visual reminder for the man that he’s cheating on his wife. It is also a dead giveaway to the prospect side chick, so he’ll take it off when going to see the other woman.
So what now?
Men can be hard to read, and that doesn’t help you when looking for signs you’re dating a married man.
It sucks to find out that the guy who seemed to be pretty much perfect for you is actually a liar and a cheat. If you decide to confront him, be prepared for him to lie about being married.
He’ll tell you he doesn’t love her anymore, that they live under the same roof for the kids’ sake or that he’s planning to leave her.
If you’ve already invested time and energy into this man, and you worry that ending it with him will hurt you badly, then you must always keep this in mind: He will never leave his wife for you (there is a tiny possibility that he eventually will).
If he leaves his wife, he will probably not marry you and if he marries you, he may leave you in the same way he left his wife.
If you're willing to live with that, then do you boo.