In the midst of high divorce statistics globally and couples that have been together for years, breaking up, Michelle and Barak Obama have remained #relationshipgoals for a while now. However, Michelle Obama says it’s not as easy as people would like to believe.
Speaking at the 25th Anniversary Essence Festival 2019 in Louisiana, United States, Michelle Obama told host Gayle King, that her and Barack had to go through marriage counselling at one point.
“There are a lot of young couples that look up to me and Barack. We’re hashtag relationship goals. And young couples think, all they see of us are the fist bumps and love…Marriage is work, marriage is hard.”
Which is why the Becoming author insisted that before considering marrying someone, we need to make sure they’re our equals. “Equality is not just measured in terms of the wallet. Equality in terms of the value that they carry. Honesty is the beginning, middle and the end. I wouldn’t want to be bothered with someone I couldn’t trust on a day-to-day basis,” Obama said.
“It’s not just about how much money they make or title. Someone could have the right salary, but the wrong heart.”
To illustrate her point, the former first lady likened a marriage to sports:
“My husband is my teammate. If we are going to win this game together, he has to be strong and he has to be OK with me being strong. I do not want a weak player on my team, nor does he. And ladies and gentlemen, that’s why it’s so important to marry somebody that you respect. It’s important to marry somebody who is your equal, and to marry and be with somebody who wants you to win as much as you want them to win.”
In conclusion, the mother-of-two gave some advice to the young people in the audience:
“Be cautious of the man or woman who wants just the easy person. The person who’s not going to force them to grow, who’s not going to expect them to change, who’s not going to hold them accountable. You wouldn’t pick someone off the bench who is going to show up weak. You want to pick somebody who is going to carry you through. Those are the things that get you over the hard times.”
WATCH: Michelle’s full talk below.