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*Lesedi can relate.
This 27-year-old's man *Thabang, started gradually decreasing his physical affection towards her until there was none at all. Now, the couple, according to Lesedi, have sex less than three times a month.
Lesedi admits that she's been preoccupied with work, but always tries to initiate intimacy with her boyfriend who seems to be avoiding it adamantly.
A puzzled Lesedi tried everything until she discovered Thabang was hiding something.
This is the story she shared with W24:
When I first met Thabang, he and I got along like a house on fire. From the very first kiss, we felt intense passion. And I loved every single second of it.
We lived blissfully together for three years, and while I can't exactly say that we had all the sex in the world, we did have a pretty healthy sexual relationship and the attraction was always on full blast.
But a few years later, things were slowly changing.
READ MORE: How do I improve my sexual relationship with my partner?
Instead of coming home and kissing me like he always would, he'd just prop himself in front of the TV. While it bothered me slightly that he'd just stopped doing it, I brushed off any feelings of doubt.
But things went from bad to worse.
Even when I initiated intimacy, he'd brush me off or say that he was tired, although it hurt, I accepted it.
One evening after a night out, I once again initiated sex, which he rejected. Defeated by his continuous rejection, I headed to bed while he stayed in the lounge watching TV.
After a few hours passed, I went to check on him - to my dismay, I found my man with his pants down masturbating to porn.
The next day I questioned him about it and he brushed me off, but not before saying that he still loves me and finds me attractive - he just has "a lot on his mind". I accepted this and waited for our sex life to go back to normal.
Except, it didn't.
READ MORE: 7 things all healthy relationships need to thrive
He was still as distant as ever and I just couldn't explain it, up until I caught him masturbating again. I've tried everything to be more sexually appealing to him, but it's just not working.
Should I give up on the relationship?
Advice for Lesedi
Johannesburg-based relationship expert Shelley Lewin weighed in on the matter as follows;
"The simple expression, 'actions speak louder than words' comes to mind," Shelley begins.
"Regardless of what he is saying, his actions and behaviour demonstrate that physical intimacy with someone he loves is a real problem.
"Porn CAN be a healthy part of a couples sexuality however, when it replaces the real opportunity for connection, it has become toxic and unhealthy," she says.
She also advises Lesedi to ask her boyfriend to get help, should he have a porn addiction.
READ MORE: Warning - explicit content: What internet porn is doing to your boyfriend's brain
"If your partner is in denial of his dependence on the porn, there might be an addiction issue that needs to be managed. It is very difficult to overcome any obstacle if there is denial.
"You might prefer to be with someone who chooses to be with a real life person rather than a virtual person," she concludes.
We hope Lesedi finds this advice useful.
*Names have been changed
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