#ThisIsPolyamory - This married couple is engaged to their live-in partner with whom they have a baby - ‘Polyamory is not a threat to monogamy'
W24 has curated six stories where real women share their experiences of being in polyamorous relationships on #ThisIsPolyamory.
If you would like to tell us your story, share it with us here.
Technician, Cody Kurkowski (28), met dance teacher, Kayla (27), while they were both in high school and they have been together ever since. In June 2014 they welcomed their first child, Cole (5), in 2016 they got married and welcomed their second child, Kyson (3), in October of that year.
Soon after, Kayla was introduced to call centre representative, Katherine Zepernick (27) on Facebook where they started chatting and grew fond of each other. They arranged to meet for a coffee with Cody and they all hit it off very well.
Over the next few months, they began to grow attached, so Kayla and Cody then asked Katherine to be their girlfriend and became an official triad in January 2017.
Three months after becoming exclusive, Katherine moved in with Kayla and Cody and they became a family.
While they are committed to each other, they are not opposed to the concept of an open triad, meaning that they can each date other people.
In January 2019, Cody and Kayla proposed to Katherine with candles, flowers and balloons ready for her when she came home from work with their song Sugar by Maroon 5 playing in the background. Before the proposal, Cody and Kayla wrote a joint letter to Katherine’s parents detailing their plans to get their blessing.
Two years into their relationship in February 2019, the three of them welcomed their first child, Khloe-Rae, who is now eight months old, as a polyamorous triad and they have since told each of their children about their relationship and that all three of their parents love them.
The throupe from from Ohio, USA, is now planning to get married in 2022, open a bed and breakfast business together and want to have two to three more children.
“For the first three months of our relationship, I was traveling to and from Dayton twice a week and spending my days off with them. After a quick three months they asked me to move in with them. There have been bumps and learning curves in the road just like any relationship, but we’ve always done everything we can to make our family work,” says Katherine.
“We are an open triad, which means we can date separately, dyadically, or as a triad. However, with young kids and busy work schedules we aren’t looking to date right now. We just don’t have a lot of extra time to give without taking away from our family at the moment,” says Kayla.
Speaking about how they deal with challenges in their relationship, Katherine says, “Everybody deals with jealousy, but it usually means there is a deeper issue that is causing the reaction. It takes a lot of self-evaluation and will to do a lot of self-reflection. Communicating your feelings with your partner about jealousy is important so that you don’t start to take anything out on them.”
The family is not complete yet as they plan to have more children. “We plan to have two to three more children in the future and hope to open a bed and breakfast in Colorado one day. We know that polyamory isn’t for everybody, but we do think that more people should know it is an option if you feel like it’s right for you.
They get a lot of confused looks from strangers, but people usually keep to themselves while other assume Kayla is Cody’s sister and just lives with them.
“We just want to be able to let people know that polyamory isn’t a threat to monogamy, which is something we’ve run into a lot just being out with our relationship.
“We are all feminists and are bringing our children up to be inclusive and open people and we’re very proud of that,” says Kayla.
Are you in an unconventional relationship? Share your story with us here.
SOURCE: Magazine Features. Images: mediadrumworld/magazinefeatures.co.za
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