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My personal experience has taught me that a woman's unhappy sex life is sometimes a product of her own repressed anger, and the resulting lack of intimacy and trust in her relationship with her partner.
It is almost impossible to have an intimate, emotionally rewarding relationship with your partner without having at least a relatively healthy sex life and I believe that this should be the basis for any romantic relationship (please note, I did say relationship, not one night stand. The rules obviously don't count there.). It's a lot easier to experiment in a fun, trusting, and intimate relationship than in one that is already on rocky ground.
So Women24 readers are complaining that their sex lives stink because their partners are terrible lovers. Are they aware of the fact that this is their own fault? What do you expect if you spend your entire relationship faking the one climax after the other? How is he supposed to know what makes you happy if you never tell him?
Let's face it: many of us have dated bad boys because they are exhilarating, but when we are looking for a life partner, most of us would rather have a nice guy, and all a nice guy wants when it comes to his partner is to make you happy. Don't blame your failure to communicate on him. Also don't blame him for your own ignorance or lack of imagination. You can't very well tell him what you like if you don't know your own body, can you? What is this – "I am woman, hear me squeak"?!
In short, before you blame your partner for your lacklustre love life, take a good, hard look inside. Figure out for yourself why all the paternalistic religions and the societies they spawned (or is it the other way around?) have worked so hard for so long to make you feel dirty and ashamed about being a woman (this is a long story. Let's keep that for another time).
Then work through the anger you have repressed all your life at being treated like an entirely different, subservient species. Finally, discover the incredible power that lies inside the heart of every woman. Once you understand that femininity and sensuality are one and the same thing, you will start to understand that sex is, as a matter of fact, not a dirty word at all and you have every right to make you and your partner's sex life unforgettable.
With tools like ours at http://www.adulttoysonline.co.za/, at your disposal, we won't settle for your excuses anymore. The ball is firmly in your court, sister. Experiment, play, learn. Make me proud!
Martie Odendaal is from adulttoysonline
Image: Stefan May
