Question
Was it just sex?
I’m in love with a senior policeman. We dated for a while and I thought we were both very happy together and had deep feelings for each other. But after we slept together he suddenly was hardly around anymore. Now he’s always busy and doesn’t bother answering my calls. I really love him, so should I be patient and wait for him?
Answer
The person treating you this way is not worth your time or tears. Waiting for him would just be setting yourself up for more disappointment. It’s clear what he wanted from you and now that he’s had it there’s no need for him to stick around. It would be in your best interests to forget about him. Give yourself time to heal and learn from this – only then will you be able to pick yourself up properly and move on.
Question
I think he’s using me
I have a two-year-old son whose father doesn’t want me anymore but he does support his child. The trouble is, I think he’s using me. He only seems to come to me when he wants sex. Even though he broke up with me months ago, we kept on sleeping together. But when I ask for something, he gives it to me. Should I continue to fight for him?
Answer
It seems as if you already have the answer you’re looking for. Deep down you know you should have made a clean break and shouldn’t have continued having sex. The only thing that should concern both of you is the co-parenting of your son. This man is now only the father of your son and nothing more – keep it at that. Listen to your instinct when it tells you he’s using you. Stop selling yourself short
Question
Friends with benefits
I met this guy through Facebook and he told me he has a girlfriend, so we agreed our relationship would only be about sex. But lately I’ve developed feelings for him and can’t stop thinking about him. The problem is he ignores my calls if I try to contact him and we only see each other when he wants. Does this mean he’s no longer into me?
Answer
My dear, he was never into you. You both consented to being friends with benefits and that’s how he sees it. He’s ignoring your calls because you are overstepping the boundary you both agreed on. You both benefitted from the arrangement but, unfortunately, you ended up with something you didn’t bargain on – having feelings for this man. Do yourself a favour and stop what you’re doing right now. When the time is right you will find a man who will love you and treat you right.
