Recently I met someone who is incredibly well-off and a fair bit older than me. Having always dated guys who were more or less my age, I was naturally nervous about what the dynamics of my new and expectantly "mature" relationship would be.
After off-loading all my questions and concerns to my very uninformed group of girls, I decided my best bet for some actual advice was the internet, of course. Who knows more than Google right?
Before I divulge the secrets of Google, I have a little disclaimer; my new "endeavour" as I like to call him, is not a sugar daddy, blesser or any of the other terms used to describe older men who are in transactional relationships with women.
He is merely very wealthy and perhaps a little giving. Also, he is not old enough to be my father nor does he have a wife, as blessers are often assumed to have.
Coming from a very small town and having little experience with fine dining or attending sophisticated events, I just wanted to educate myself on the etiquette I should employ when around someone as extravagant as himself.
Moreover, I wanted to be taken seriously as well as respected and admired, and I highly doubt acting like I had never seen nice things before would get me the desired effect, so I set out to prepare myself for a life I've never lived.
Now let's get back to my Google search findings.
After reading a bunch of things about how to "fake boujee," "how to boujee on a budget" or "how to act sophisticated", I came across a site that was just as interesting as it was unbelievable.
The site is called Let's Talk Sugar - "the ultimate sugar baby guide", they say.
And if you haven't guessed it, this website is all about the world of sugar daddies and sugar babies. There are all kinds of guides, hacks, tips and basically everything you need to know about the "sugar" world.
READ MORE: Why on and off relationships are bad for you
While mine is not exactly a sugar arrangement, I found the site pretty informing. Personally, reading most of the pieces introduced me to a whole different perspectives to the world of sugaring or blesser/blessee lifestyle.
It also gave me some perspective on all relationships, not just transactional ones.
While these sorts of relationships are often frowned upon for various arbitrary reasons, I would like to share five quotes and lessons I took away from Let's Talk Sugar that taught me not about "sugaring", but about relationships, love and dating in general.
1. Never settle
"Sometimes we choose to ignore red flags and pretend to not notice something that bothers us because we're afraid we can't do better."
Just because someone does nice things for you, it does not mean you they get to walk all over you.
"There is nothing wrong with having high expectations and high standards in a relationship, having these does not mean you are against the progress of yourself or other women."
"Focus on work, school or maintaining your profitable skill."
This is something I am personally guilty of. Whenever I get involved with someone, everything that's important to me takes the back seat while I prioritise keeping my partner happy, and that's a no-no. You come first. Always.
Handle bad situations with style. "No matter how well you think you know someone, you may not know them at all - stay safe and be positive".
Like I previously mentioned, this is not a sugar relationship and I am not a sugar baby (although there is absolutely nothing wrong with that), but I have learnt a thing or two from perusing the web, and honestly, I do feel a little more prepared for this whole new world.
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