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During this stress, my children are my salvation

In addition to being fulltime menopausal, I’m also a single mom with a fulltime job.

I have two very cool kids, who surprise me each day by doing things that make me want to shout “WHY ARE YOU TURNING INTO ME?!”. Clever and beautiful and amazing, of course, as well as stir-crazy and dramatic and emotional.

There is nothing that keeps you on your toes (knees?) the way a toddler does. It’s incredible. They don’t care what goes on in your life, as long as you take care of them. I think that’s what has kept me grounded through all the upheaval I’ve experienced over the past 2 years (divorce, moving a few times, resettling in a new house, meeting someone else, and finally the diagnosis of the cause of my health problems).

Sometimes you literally just need to put your big girl panties on, and get on with doing what you need to do, because people are depending on you. There is no time for self-pity.

Roll on Tuesday, and my eldest loses her first tooth.

That poor kid, I don’t think she was prepared for the tears (mine). It’s an undeniable fact that she is growing up, but that tooth just hit home for me: She is never going to be a baby again, and I am never going to have a baby again. I wonder if I can start wearing my 3-year-old in a sling? He seems to want to stay little, luckily! One needs that one child who is willing to stay little just a touch longer.

I’ll have you know the tooth fairy paid us a visit, and left a note too. Pity the tooth fairy was woefully unprepared, caught with no small change, and that tiny tooth cost her R20. And she sort of set the tone for any further losses. The kid is wiggling teeth that are very clearly still very much fastened to her jaw bone, in the hope of receiving more cash.

Damn you, tooth fairy.

Mind you, the 3-year-old is also wiggling his teeth. I see a trend forming.

Through everything, these two crazy, beautiful kids have been my anchor as much as I’ve been theirs. I learn from them every day, and they’ve changed me completely.

My mom was basically menopausal as long as I can remember. I don’t remember a lot of the struggles before her diagnosis, but I know how diligent she was about her medication throughout the years, as the emotional symptoms can be quite terrible. I will do the same, as nothing gets you disinvited from all the good birthday parties as quickly as being known as the crazy mom.  

Bottom line? Cherish the people you love, because they become your rock in the times when your undercarriage sort of falls out. And take your damn pills, life is just far too short not to. 

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