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This letter is a response to Lili's newsletter from last week.
I prefer the “giving advice about things I have no clue”, although I did help my mother raise my much younger sisters, so feel I have had marginal experience.
Anyway I shall continue to be a parenting expert just as long as those folk, (and when I say those folk, I do solemnly swear to include my most favourite and wonderful best friends amongst any other parental folk), continue to tell me the following:
Oh “how wonderful it is to be single” “the stresses of being in a relationship, make being single a pleasure” and “not to worry you will find your man, he is just around the corner”, or “do not give up hope my friend as your man is coming”, and “he will be here when the time is right”.
“You just need to be in the right space” or “he will appear when you are not looking” BS.
Foxes, really, I could carry on, but I am sure you know those types of people to whom I refer and have heard much of the same at some stage in your life (maybe, maybe not, maybe it’s just me?).
Well the one difference (and I claim it), is that for 90% of the time, I voice my parenting views to my other single/childless friends as I do know of and understand the difficulties (although not directly first hand (or out of my womb) of raising little blessings.
I hear about these difficulties from these child bearing parents so damn often. Once a parent is talking about their offspring, I cannot get a word in!
So what I would like to know then, is WHY my childbearing/coupled friends do not natter amongst THEMSELVES about my singledom.
Instead they profess their infinite pairing philosophies to my face.
They seem to forget that they too were single before connecting with a sperm or egg donor and forget the emotions surrounding that state of being.
I do not need philosophies, I just need a shag, so if they could point me in the direction of an available man, I would be happy.
But it’s so much easier for them to talk and tell me, "don’t worry love, it will happen when the universe is ready" blah blah blah.
Ha in the meantime, I have found Tinder. So no need to rely on them for formal introductions, I will try online for a bit.
But I digress, back to the point of your letter; as long as child bearing adults are around, us non-child bearing adults will be there to offer advice whether vocally to the parents or parents to be or to another singleton who will engage in conversation.
Because it’s our way of fighting back at those who know everything about being single and how to combat this challenge, now that they are in relationship.
Thanks Lili for listening, perhaps that wasn’t R1’s worth, maybe less, maybe more?
And if by some wicked sense of humour in fate, I do get married and have 4 children … well, we can talk then.
So anyway, now I have entered the Zanzibar competition in the hope that I can win a singleton holiday with a friend and come back with wonderful jealousy inducing photos for my friends with children.
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