Being beautiful is not everything
I think being beautiful allows you to count on your beauty to get things done!

When you get older and your beauty fades you find it difficult to console with that. If you never worked on your inner self it will be difficult to accept getting older.

I will tell my daughters that beauty comes from the inside no matter how beautiful you are....
Cindy

Life's easier when you're pretty
I grew up as a very ugly duckling, severely overweight, acne etc, and only sorted out my body around age 19. I am now conventionally 'good looking' (in terms of a nice face and BMI on the underweight side of normal).

I do think that being ugly does, however, help you forge stronger bonds. The friends I had in school are still friends to this day (I'm 25). They were the people who were truly interested in me and my personality and intelligence etc, not just looks.

But having experienced both sides of the coin, you get better parking, more discounts, better service and in general, things are much easier when you're pretty (note: not flirty, just pleasant to look at). So if I had to choose, I would go for a glam mag look, were it that easy to achieve.
Lindsay

Pretty vs Beautiful
Thank you for another interesting newsletter.  I really enjoy them and often read them when I'm alone, almost like spending time with a friend.

I think your mum was really good in telling you how pretty you were as it instilled in you a real sense of confidence.

I believe that as women, when we accept our bodies as is, and our minds for what they are, we uncap the real beauty that lies within.  This I must say is very difficult, as most women are very critical about their bodies and often times do not believe that our minds are really worthwhile.

Having spent many hours agonising about the state of my body and mind, I now like the way I am and would much rather have everyone around me see the real beauty that is within rather than just a pretty face.
Livvi

It's all about confidence
My dad has told me my whole life how absolutely beautiful I am - truly, all the time. When I wore my hair in a pony-tail he'd say, 'I LOVE your hair like that'.

Down, 'I LOVE your hair like that'. Crazy-Meg-Ryan-City-of-Angels cut . . . 'I LOVE your hair like that'. And the thing is, he always really and truly meant it, and he actually still gets a bit happy-teary when commenting on how I look.

Quite frankly I'm just a nice-looking thirty-year-old who dresses oddly and pulls funny faces a lot.

When I was younger I was a very gawky looking kid with HUGE pink plastic bifocals so it's not like I consider his judgement all that reasonable - but I love him for it and credit most of my excellent self-esteem to him. My life has been so much better for the confidence I've always simply had and I think kids could benefit from knowing that at least one person thinks they're perfect.

I always tell people my mom loves me so much for a million reasons, and my dad loves me so much for no reason at all. It's wonderful to know you're loved for good reason and without reason.
Jennifer

It's all about feeling good inside
I started modelling and doing beauty pageants from the age of 17….. Until you get to 26 and they kick you out.

I was pretty enough never to enter a room unnoticed and get flowers from strange men on the street. Want to know a secret… now at 33 ladies don’t get catty when I enter a conversation, teenage girls don’t look me up and down anymore and I even get addressed as “tannie” by 19 year old Afrikaans boys. Oh and men have started listing to what I have to say.

So was it nice to be pretty, of course it was… but it has taken all this time for me to trust my abilities and not have to doubt whether people wanted my looks or my ideas. To enjoy who I am for me, to dress for me and to be who I wanted to be and not just what people wanted to see.

My advice to your daughters would be to:  tell her she’s pretty, tell her all the good stuff about her, don’t forget her kindness, her heart, those lovely calves, how she lights up when she smiles. Tell her to feel good about herself at 12 at 14 at 18. Don’t let her wait till she’s 33 before she figures out it's not about being pretty but how you feel about yourself inside. And that makes you pretty for life!
Janine

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