There have been a lot of discussions over the past few years about issues around consent and a recent study highlights the dangerous mindsets and sense of entitlement that many men have when it comes to women having agency and control over their own bodies and minds.

READ MORE: Don't teach girls how not to be raped - teach boys not to rape

Bustle.com reports that the Family Planning Association group (FPA), a UK charity whose mission is to help create a society that encourages people to make informed and positive choices about their sexual wellbeing, has recently conducted a study which revealed that 47% of the people surveyed are convinced that it’s not okay to withdraw your consent when you’re naked before having sex.

Shocking, but unfortunately not surprising. 

Jen Thorpe writes in a piece that why we can’t agree on what consent is that many people often like to talk about sex as if there are grey areas. But this isn’t an excuse. As she mentions, sex is an act of enjoyment between two people – not just yourself.

And enjoyment lies in the fact that both parties are completely in agreement – verbally and physically - about what is happening.

And any moment someone feels uncomfortable and says so, regardless of whether that person is naked or not, is your cue to stop immediately.

The FPA findings not only showcase that many people seem to believe that consent has exceptions, but it also reveals that out of those findings, people particularly believe that they’re entitled to someone having them sex with them if they’ve bought drinks, dinner or have already kissed that person. 

These beliefs reflect problematic behaviours and attitudes that don’t allow room for women to feel comfortable enough to either say a) she may want a break, b) she’s not comfortable continuing and c) saying no outright.


Many people already disregard physical cues that show visible discomfort as something not to be taken be taken seriously, so imagine how much less seriously women are taken when they actually speak up.

In a recent poll, we asked our readers to share what they thought of the stat - that it’s not okay to withdraw consent after getting naked - and most agreed that out of all the options listed below, attitudes like this form part of rape culture and show a remarkable amount of ignorance around the issues of consent. 


Yes, we’ve had the #MeToo movement that has sparked conversations about sexual assault and harassment, and yes, it’s a good thing, but it’s also faced a lot of backlash from men in positions of power (and their admirers) who think the trauma of rape, harassment and assault has an expiry date and that consent only matters if you say no before the time.

You just have to look at cases like Khwezi, who was vilified for speaking up and out about her experiences and the latest case where a US supreme court nominee Brett Kavanaugh is actually being defended by Trump following accusations of sexual misconduct.

We’re so very tired of trying to explain this concept. 


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