Even though I regret getting married before I celebrated my 24th birthday, I learned these 5 important lessons
Meet 27-year-old Amahle who's been married for four years to a loving and supportive man.
While Amahle loves her husband and her family, she says she wishes she would've waited just a little while longer before making such a huge commitment.
Read as Amahle reflects over some of the reasons she regrets getting married at the tender age of only 23 and some of the lessons her journey into wife and motherhood has taught her.
"I love my husband Paul, and I don't think that I would want to be married to anyone else. But sometimes I find myself wondering what my life would have been like had I not rushed into this marriage.
Often I reflect on the decisions that led me to where I am, and I've identified regrets I have about getting married at such a young age. But it's important to note that for each of those regrets, a big lesson was learned.
My first regret is the fact that I did not pay much attention to furthering my education. All I wanted was to be somebody's Mrs. And so when I matriculated, my first and only idea was to get a job at a bank or call centre, which I did.
The lesson I have now learned from that is that there is not point sulking over what I could've done in the past, the past is gone, all I can do now is focus on the now, which is why I plan on doing that course on interior decorating, which has always been a passion of mine.
My second regret was coming into a marriage with no financial stability. Not only am I dependent on Paul for just about everything, I feel ashamed that I can't contribute as much as I would like to for big purchases for our home and our two-year-old baby girl.
What I have learned about having no financial independence is that I need to save! Before, I would blame my low-income job on the fact that I couldn't save but now I have taught myself to be as frugal as possible, especially with my plans to study.
Another regret I have is not traveling and exploring the world on my own before I made the huge commitment to being a wife and a mother.
Sometimes I tell myself that I would never have been able to afford to whether or not I became a wife and a mom, but truth be told the possibilities are endless. I wish that I had made seeing the world more of a priority.
The lesson I learned from this is that everything happens for a reason, and I have my beautiful baby who means more than seeing the world to me. I have faith that she and I will travel and explore together one day.
My fourth regret is not spending enough time with my sisters and parents. You're probably wondering why I can't spend time with them now aren't you? Well, as a full-time employed mother to a toddler and wife to a fussy man, there is little time to be spent with my extended family.
While I do see them as often as possible, between juggling work, the baby, my marriage and finding time to nurture my mental and physical wellness, I don't see them as much as I would like.
The lesson I took from this is that one doesn't have to spend time in the physical with the ones close to your heart for them to stay in your heart. It also taught me to appreciate and love every one of my family members more than anything.
I value time spent with them so much.
My last regret about getting married was not preparing myself mentally and even physically for everything marriage (and being a mom entails). In my head it was all sunshine and roses with occasional light rain.
But it actually turned out to be left-up toilet seats, arguing over dishes that were left unattended, a crying baby in the early hours of the morning and nursing a grown man who turns into a baby after catching a little cold.
And the lesson here was?
Marriage is not easy, never was and never will be. What I have learned is that communication and willingness to compromise is everything! Also, being married does not mean the end of youthfulness or fun.
It just means you have a partner who can join you on your journey, and hopefully make it more adventurous and fun.
Final word of advice from me to those looking to get on the marriage train?
Think things over, make sure you know why you're doing it. Prepare yourself to share yourself, that means making certain sacrifices. Also do yourself a favour and remember, no regrets means no lessons learnt.
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