The patriarchy has always presented us with a never ending, unrealistic list of contradictory preferences, which have had many women wondering if they would ever be enough for the man of their dreams.
Let me just quickly take this opportunity to give an opinion as unsolicited as your #MCM's opinion on eyebrows - he is not the man of your dreams if he expects you to be two different things that he cannot also realistically be.
See, when it comes to all things feminine, men fail to ask themselves a very important introspective question; "what does this have to do with me?"
Asking themselves this question every time before they spew demands as unrealistic as the likelihood of a can of Pepsi putting an end to systematic oppression and violence would really yield less eye rolls from us.
The problem is not that men have dating preferences. Everyone is more than entitled to set standards and ideals for themselves and if you don't fit a potential dating mate's criteria it's perfectly okay.
But please don't tell women how to manifest their femininity in a way that only you approve of (as seen in the examples to follow) because, wow, it's exhausting.
Please stop telling us that you hate it when we wear a lot of makeup, but also that our bare faces reveal just how much we need to be wearing makeup in the first place because you "can't trust these females, fam."
Please stop telling us that you will never marry a girl who goes clubbing every weekend, but you find girls who prefer watching movies at home insufferably boring and unadventurous.
Please stop telling us that the only real women are thick girls with more curves than Chapmans Peak Drive, but oh no, they better not have cellulite or stretch marks because that just means they're fat and unhealthy. Now you're looking for slender girls with flat tummies.
Please stop telling us that you loooove a girl with an appetite, but take a lady out on a date and you complain that she ordered everything on the menu like she'd never been to a restaurant before.
Please stop wasting your data tweeting and making Facebook statuses about how unAfrican and superficial girls with weaves are. But on Instagram you exclusively double tap and salivate over selfies captioned #Brazilian #CavaTheInches.
Please stop telling women what to wear and how to wear it, but behind closed doors men are raping our sisters, daughters and mothers regardless of their attire.
Please stop with this "used goods" perception you have of young, single mothers, but you don't remember saying "it just feels better without the condom, babe" nine months ago.
Please stop shaming and name-calling the ladies who are dating older, rich men, but you also call women who date purely for love unambitious, while constantly reminding them that love doesn’t pay the bills.
Also, why I am saying please as if men have been politely throwing these double standards at us all these years?
But gents, for real, don't make women feel like they are not worthy of any kind of attention or basic human decency when they "don't quite do it for you."
And even when you are decisive about what you want from us, don’t impose it on us. We’ll choose who we want to be, thanks.
Can you relate with some of the double standards mentioned above? Tell us.