Now, the 27 year old shares her story to raise awareness about the disorder and how it can make it difficult for suffers to led a normal and fulfilling life.
This is her story.
“I have suffered from social anxiety since I was a teenager. It has affected my life in many ways and at one point almost took away my life.
When I was younger I normally hid from visitors, from class mates and even from friends. They ended up thinking I was very strange and drew away from me not knowing that I had severe social anxiety. The trend followed into my high school years, which then gave me a total of four friends in eight years, all of whom I drifted apart with.
I could never keep friends which resulted in me being very lonely.
When I entered university, the mental disorder became clearer to me and I was petrified by what it meant. I shivered visibly in class and whenever called upon to answer anything or present anything I stuttered and could barely look people in the eye.
I ended up being completely withdrawn because no one could understand that I was struggling. I was having my meals in the seclusion of my room and keeping far away from any social gathering.
READ MORE: The liking gap – why you’re making a better social impression than you think
The result is obvious. I grew more and more depressed and more withdrawn. I started having shaking fits at night, on top of insomnia, whenever I was too sad to cope.
The worst part of this condition is the inability to build bonds. I would talk freely with one person but never build a bond that would see us conversing the next day.
When I was 21, I attempted suicide and nearly succeeded were it not for a slight miscalculation on my part. Simply put, my mother came to visit me on the day I found the courage to down all the painkillers in the drawer.
After this incident, I saw a doctor and was officially diagnosed with social anxiety and depression.
That's when I made the decision that maybe there's something wrong and it's better to save myself, so I dropped out of school for a while.
I returned home, where I had some social life with some family members.
READ MORE: How to spot the signs and help a friend who's battling with mental health issues
I re-joined a second course and began my healing process.
So why am I sharing this story? Because I've found hope through the struggle, I want to create awareness so that if anyone who meets someone like me can be more understanding.
The illness has robbed me of friends, relationships, careers, opportunities and even my own self-awareness but now I am beginning to stand even stronger."
This story was submitted to Drum and was minimally edited. To submit your story email [email protected].
To follow Tracy's journey follow her blog here.
